I was emailed this by a friend recently , well an exfriend now ! LOL

I was shopping at the local supermarket where I selected:

A gallon of 2% milk
A carton of eggs
A quart of orange juice
A head of lettuce
A loaf of bread
A 1 lb. package of bacon

As I was unloading my items onto the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind me watched as I placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the drunk calmly stated, 'You must be single.''

I was a bit startled by this proclamation, but I was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since I was indeed single. I looked at the six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about my selections that could have tipped off the drunk as to my marital status.

Curiosity getting the better of me, I said: ''Well, you know what, you're absolutely right. But how on earth did you know that?''

The drunk replied,

''Cause you're ugly.''

I would like to extend a welcome to any who are stopping by from www.themilkmanswife.blogspot.com

If you have not been there yet by all means stop by and say hello to her , she needs all the help she can get BELIEVE ME !! lol

Gonna Be A BEAR

My Wife Said I Had To Post This , So I Am Doing So UNDER PROTEST

In this Life , I am a WOMAN .

In My NEXT Life , I wanna come back as a Bear

REASONS :

( 1 ) When Your A BEAR you get to Sleep For 6 Months ! Its GOOD !

( 2 ) Before You Sleep You Get To Eat Yourself Stupid ! Its GOOD !

( 3 ) When You Have Cubs, You Have Them ( They Are The Size Of A Walnut ) WHILE you SLEEP , and When You Wake Up They Are Partially Grown , Cute and Cuddly. Its GOOD !

( 4 ) Everyone KNOWS You Mean Business , You Can SWAT ANYONE Who Messes With Your Cubs, And If The Cubs Get Out Of Line , You Can SWAT Them Too. Its GOOD !

( 5 ) Poppa Bear EXPECTS You To Wake Up Growling , Have Hairy Legs And Excess Body Fat !

ITS REAL GOOD !

YEP I'M COMMIN BACK AS A BEAR !!!!!

TAGGED HUH

The Rotten MilkMaid Has Seen To It In Her Infinate (dubious) Wisdom To Tag Me !

So Before I Start PHBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBTTTTTTTTTTT to you !!

Ok

1. What were you doing 10 yrs ago?
I was Sitting Through a Lamaz Class watching the look on my Wifiepoos face when they showed her the videos about what was about to happen ! She Looked at Me and Looked Down and Said , I WILL KILL U !

2. 5 Things to do on my list today ?
( a ) Wake up
( b ) Scratch
( c ) Cuddle wifiepoo & Shortleggs
( d ) Open Coffeeshop
( e ) Harrass the sassy waitress who never seems to be at work on time cause she is always to busy making pictures at the zoo and telling everybody how wonderfull the milkman is !

3. Favorite Snack
Would have to say Little Pecan Pies

4. If I Were A Millionaire
I would spend vast amounts of Money trying to hide from all the COUSINS that would come crawling outa the woodwork wanting a hand out ! AND id be on a beach somewhere drinking a drink with a lil umbrella stickin outa the top and watchin the Punkins Jiggle by !

5. Places Ive Lived
Up North and Down South
( Souths Better , way to cold up there )
( of course the cold does tend to make Punkin Stems Harder )

6. Tag 5 people
( a ) Him
( b ) Her
( c ) Them
( d ) and the Other Guy

So There ya sassy MilkMaid !!!! LOLOLOL

BAILOUT ?? BULLBISCUITS!!

Now , before I get started , let me FIRST say . I am not discussing Politics here ! I don't discuss Politics Or Religion on this blog.

What I am Talking about is Economics.



I am all for helping the economy get back on its feet , and if the bailout is the way to go then okay.

HOWEVER



I am not for people walking away from this with large sums of cash on hand.



Example



I own a business , and once in my life i did have to file Bankruptcy .



When THAT happened , I lost EVERYTHING



I walked away with the clothes on my back basically.



Now , any company that files Bankruptcy will basically deal with the same outcome , as John Q Public , we don't get bailouts .



SO , If we are going to pay to have this bailout , why are the BIG BOYS who caused this mess walking away with large sums of cash.

Basically what has happened here is WALL STREET COMPANY'S are BANKRUPT.



The Pecker woods who are behind this mess SHOULD lose everything they have ! JUST LIKE JOHN Q PUBLIC would.



I know this is a basic look at the situation , and that there are dissenting ideas. However that's the point of a blog.



Make me feel better , lets see some of the WALL STREET BIG BOYS losing everything they have to help finance this and let me see some of THEM saying " You want fries with that " and stop giving large sums of money to the SAME people who created this mess!!



THAT would make me feel better about digging deeper in MY pockets

You may not like my opinion, But I don't care ! Its my sandbox and I'll pee in it if I want

Letter From Grandma

This little gem I found on the internet i thought was worth sharing as well. Problem is i can see this happening . As a matter of fact , i think i know this lady ! LOL



Grandma is eighty-eight years old and still drives her own car. From a letter on the internet she writes:

Dear Granddaughter,
The other day I went up to our local Christian book store and saw a Honk if you love Jesus bumper sticker. I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting.So, I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper. Boy, am I glad I did, what an uplifting experience that followed. I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord and how good he is, and I didn't notice that the light had changed. It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn't honked, I'd never have noticed.I found that lots of people love Jesus!

While I was sitting there, the guy behind started honking like crazy, and then he leaned out of his window and screamed, ' For the love of God! ' ' Go! Go! Go! Jesus Christ, GO!' What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus! Everyone started honking!I just leaned out my window and started waving and smiling at all those loving people. I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love! There must have been a man from Florida back there because I heard him yelling something about a sunny beach.I saw another guy waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air. I asked my young teenage grandson in the back seat what that meant. He said it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something. Well, I have never met anyone from Hawaii, so I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign right back. My grandson burst out laughing. Why even he was enjoying this religious experience!!

A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and started walking towards me. I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but this is when I noticed the light. So, I waved at all my brothers and sisters grinning, and drove on through the intersection.I noticed that I was the only car that got through the intersection before the light changed again and felt kind of sad that I had to leave them after all the love we had shared. So I slowed the car down, leaned out the window and gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away.

Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks!!

Will write again soon,
Love, Grandma

New WebSite I Found

Enjoy That ?? I loved it !

Wanna See More Like It Go To ..........

http://www.icanhascheezburger.com/

Enjoy


You may not like my opinion, But I dont care ! Its my sandbox and I'll pee in it if I want to !

More Advice From My Favorite Doctor !

I had a follow up visit with my new doctor and asked him some more questions.


I have come to the conclusion that the man is no less than genius. Its impossible that the advice he has given me could be any less than genius, its being proven true by a large portion of americans everyday.


Well make up your own mind !



My Question:

Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables ?

His Answer:

We have to grasp Logistics here , for example. What does a cow eat ? Hay and Corn ! What are these ? Vegetables !! Therefore Steak is nothing more than an effecient way of delivering vegetables to your system ! Beef is also a great source of green leafy vegetables ( grass) !
Need Grain ? Eat Chicken !

My Question:

Should I reduce Alcohol Consumption ?

His Answer:

Absolutely not ! Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled Wine. Wich means that they have taken the water out of the fruit so you get even more of the goodness of the fruit in that manner!
And Beer is made from Grain !
Therefore , eating a chicken sandwich and drinking a Beer will give you 100% of daily required Grains !

HE IS A GENIUS I TELL YOU !!

Man I love this Doctor !


You may not like my opinion, But I dont care ! Its my sandbox and I'll pee in it if I want to !

My New Doctor ( I Love This Guy )

I am so excited , I have finally found a doctor I can relate to. He thinks like I do and I believe I will be able to follow his Medical Advice to the letter.

I know !! I Know !! There has to be a catch right?

Well you read through the advice he gave me and tell me how this is a bad thing !!


My Question :
I've heard that Cardiovascular Exercise can prolong life , Is that true ?

His Answer :

Your Heart is only good for so many beats , and that's it ! Don't waste them on exercise . Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer, that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving faster !

Want to live longer ??? Take A Nap !!

My Question :
Are There ANY advantages in participating in a regular exercise program ?

His Answer :

Cant think of a single one !! My philosophy is .... NO PAIN ? .... GOOD!!

My Question :
How Can I Calculate my Body Fat ?

His Answer :

Well, If you have (1 ) Body and you have fat, That's a ratio of ( 1 ) to ( 1 )
If you have two body's and you have fat its ( 2 ) to ( 1 )

Simple See !!!

I LOVE THIS GUY !!!!


You may not like my opinion , but I don't care !! Its my sandbox and I'll Pee in it if I want to !

The Meanest Mom On The Planet ( I love it )

This Material Was Found On AP News Filed Under Weird News


The Following Was Something I Read Yesterday and Would Like To Honor This Woman For Her Common Sense and Willingness To Stand On Her Principles.

The Material Read As Follows:

"" After Finding Alcohol In Her Sons Car , Jane Hambleton , Decided To Sell The Car And Share Her 19 Yr Olds Misdeed With Everyone By Placing An Ad In The Newspaper. ""

"" OLDS 1999 Intrigue""

Totally Uncool Parents Who Obviously Don't Love Their Teenage Son , Selling His Car.
Only Driven 3 Weeks Before Snooping Mom Who Needs To Get A Life Found Booze Under Front Seat. $ 3,700.00 / OBO
Call Meanest Mom On The Planet """

Apparently The Son Claimed That The Booze Was Left By A Passenger, And Mom Believes Him But Has Decided Mercy Was Not Called For Since Her Rules Had Been NO BOOZE In The Car, And KEEP IT LOCKED.

Mrs Hambleton !!

We At The CoffeeShop Proudly

SALUTE YOU !!

You May Not Like My Opinion, But I Dont Care !! Its My SandBox And I'll Pee In It If I Want To !!