Friday, December 17, 2010
Kinda went like this .
"Make a right hand turn" " Look behind me and see red lights"
OK , whats up with this . I pulled over and took out my wallet and insurance card, watching people watch me as I sit there waiting for this Police Officer to walk up to my car .
He approached my car , looked me over and said " SIR do you know why I stopped you ?
Now I know we have all heard these words before , and sometimes a person has the urge to give a smart @$$ answer like " Yes , but sorry , I'm married ! " Any way I bit my tongue and said . NO I don't think I did anything wrong Officer .
Now in this fellas defence , I don't want anyone to think he was being rude , he was quite civil , he smiled and was polite enough so he wasn't being a Jackwagon .
He did then look me in the eye and said and I quote ! " You failed to use your turn signal at that last turn"
NOW I wanted to be a Smart @$$ . I guess I looked Dumbfounded . Immediately , I thought about all the murders , Bank Robbery's , Kidnappings , Meth Producers , Dirty Politicans Etc: that are going down as we speak , and we are taking 20 min out of both of our days because of a turn signal ?
I looked him in the eye and said " Your Kidding Right"? He Proudly said NOPE !
I sat there thinking of all the obvious things that I appreciate my tax monies being spent on , Positive things . And I donate several dollars to various law enforcement agencies each year .
So this isn't about anti police , I'm all for them , play golf with several . Have friends on the force !
DIDN'T USE MY TURN SIGNAL ??
OK !! He came back to my vehicle and handed me a "warning ticket " And I DO appreciate that , my 20 yr run without a ticket fine is still intact . However !
Was that REALLY A NECESSARY 20 minutes of my life ?
OK Ill get off the soapbox . And I will continue to support the local law enforcement !
Hows about we get a lil more realistic about why people are pulled over , ok?
The Turn Signal Kid Signing Off !!
Saturday, December 11, 2010
Friday, November 26, 2010
On this particular afternoon, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear.
One thing led to another and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it.
Seven days later, they're all together to discuss the experience.
Father Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has various bandages, goes first.
"Well," he says, "I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle a lamb. The bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation."
Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm and both legs in casts, and an IV drip. In his best fire and brimstone oratory he claimed, " WELL brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quick DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus."
They both looked down at the rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IV's and monitors running in and out of him. He was in bad shape.
The rabbi looks up and says, "Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start."
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
The first of three drugs administered to Jeffrey Landrigan during the execution was sodium thiopental, a sedative that's in short supply in the U.S. because of raw material problems with its sole American manufacturer. Arizona said Tuesday it got a new supply of the drug from Britain, but Landrigan's lawyers challenged that in court because federal inspectors haven't approved any of the drug's overseas manufacturers.
I'm Not Taking sides here , this isn't about pro or con death penalty.
I'm thinking about the ludicrous statement . Arizona shouldn't use a drug to KILL someone cause it isn't proven SAFE ??
If its being used to KILL SOMEONE how would ANY drug be SAFE !!
Whats next ?? UMMMMMMMMMMMM The military cant execute by firing squad cause the Bullets arent proved SAFE ?
I'm sorry , I'm really NOT trying to make light of the situation , a man was put to death. However , under the current laws he paid for his crime .
Our Prisons are full because TO OFTEN the criminal gets to use stuff like whats above to skirt the system . I would say this time , based on current laws , it worked out RIGHT
You may not agree with my Opinion , but its my sandbox I'll pee in it if I want to
Friday, September 3, 2010
I didn't think twice about this tiny fellow on my baby boxwood until I got this letter:
GARDEN SNAKES CAN BE DANGEROUS...
Snakes also known as Garter Snakes (Thamnophissirtalis) can be dangerous. Yes, grass snakes, not rattlesnakes. Here's why.
A couple in Sweetwater , Texas , had a lot of potted plants. During a recent cold spell, the wife was bringing a lot of them indoors to protect them from a possible freeze.
It turned out that a little green garden grass snake was hidden in one of the plants. When it had warmed up, it slithered out and the wife saw it go under the sofa.
She let out a very loud scream.
The husband (who was taking a shower) ran out into the living room naked to see what the problem was. She told him there was a snake under the sofa.
He got down on the floor on his hands and knees to look for it. About that time the family dog came and cold-nosed him on the behind. He thought the snake had bitten him, so he screamed and fell over on the floor.
His wife thought he had had a heart attack, so she covered him up, told him to lie still and called an ambulance.
The attendants rushed in, would not listen to his protests, loaded him on the stretcher, and started carrying him out.
About that time, the snake came out from under the sofa and the Emergency Medical Technician saw it and dropped his end of the stretcher. That's when the man broke his leg and why he is still in the hospital.
The wife still had the problem of the snake in the house, so she called on a neighbor who volunteered to capture the snake. He armed himself with a rolled-up newspaper and began poking under the couch.. Soon he decided it was gone and told the woman, who sat down on the sofa in relief.
But while relaxing, her hand dangled in between the cushions, where she felt the snake wriggling around. She screamed and fainted, the snake rushed back under the sofa.
The neighbor man, seeing her lying there passed out, tried to use CPR to revive her.
The neighbor's wife, who had just returned from shopping at the grocery store, saw her husband's mouth on the woman's mouth and slammed her husband in the back of the head with a bag of canned goods, knocking him out and cutting his scalp to a point where it needed stitches.
The noise woke the woman from her dead faint and she saw her neighbor lying on the floor with his wife bending over him, so she assumed that the snake had bitten him. She went to the kitchen and got a small bottle of whiskey, and began pouring it down the man's throat.
By now, the police had arrived.
They saw the unconscious man, smelled the whiskey, and assumed that a drunken fight had occurred. They were about to arrest them all, when the women tried to explain how it all happened over a little garden snake!
The police called an ambulance, which took away the neighbor and his sobbing wife.
Now, the little snake again crawled out from under the sofa and one of the policemen drew his gun and fired at it. He missed the snake and hit the leg of the end table. The table fell over, the lamp on it shattered and, as the bulb broke, it started a fire in the drapes.
The other policeman tried to beat out the flames, and fell through the window into the yard on top of the family dog who, startled, jumped out and raced into the street, where an oncoming car swerved to avoid it and smashed into the parked police car.
Meanwhile, neighbors saw the burning drapes and called in the fire department. The firemen had started raising the fire ladder when they were halfway down the street. The rising ladder tore out the overhead wires, put out the power, and disconnected the telephones in a ten-square city block area (but they did get the house fire out).
Time passed! Both men were discharged from the hospital, the house was repaired, the dog came home, the police acquired a new car and all was right with their world.
A while later they were watching TV and the weatherman announced a cold snap for that night. The wife asked her husband if he thought they should bring in their plants for the night.
And that's when he shot her.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
I love how this played out, maybe you will too .
Either way I felt it was worth Posting.
FLORIDA COURT SETS ATHEIST HOLY DAY
In Florida , an atheist created a case against the upcoming Easter and Passover Holy days.
He hired an attorney to bring a discrimination case against Christians and Jews and observances of their holy days.
The argument was that it was unfair that atheists had no such recognized days..
The case was brought before a judge. After listening to the passionate presentation by the lawyer, the judge banged his gavel declaring, "Case dismissed!"
The lawyer immediately stood objecting to the ruling saying, "Your honor, How can you possibly dismiss this case?
The Christians have Christmas, Easter and others. The Jews have Passover, Yom Kippur and Hanukkah, yet my client and all other atheists have no such holidays."
The judge leaned forward in his chair saying, "But you do. Your client, counsel, is woefully ignorant." The lawyer said, "Your Honor, we are unaware of any special observance or holiday for atheists." The judge said,
"The calendar says April 1st is April Fools Day.
Psalm 14:1 states, 'The fool says in his heart, there is no God.' Thus, it is the opinion of this court, that, if your client says there is no God, then he is a fool.
Therefore, April 1st is his day.
Court is adjourned."
You have to love a Judge that knows his scripture!
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
After a bit the court Called Mrs Annabelle Smith to the stand , she gleefully walked up to the podium and sat down waiting the questions.
The first was the Defense lawyer . As he walked up he smiled ever so kindly and decided to start easy . He asked her a simple question . ........ Ma am ....... being ever the gentleman ......... Do you know me he asked .
Mrs Annabell looked at him and said . ......................... Yes I do Timothy , Ive known you since you were a little rotten kid busting windows all over town . Everyone knows you cheated your way through school and probably law school as well . You have been married twice , cheated on both women , have several children from women NOT living in this town . Your a cheat and a shyster and I wouldn't have anything to do with you if i hadn't been called here today !!
At this point the Reporters Cameras are Flashing hard and the notes are being scribbled fast.
The defense lawyer taken aback .....looked at her and the judge shocked . I..I...I .. have no further questions. And he promptly sat down.
The Prosecution was grinning from ear to ear as he stood up.
Walking up , He asked , My I call you Mrs Annabelle ? She nodded . He Looked at the defense lawyer , back at Mrs Annabelle and asked .
Do You Know the defendant ? ...................... Looking over at him she said yes , His name is Terry , he has been a hooligan all his life and I am utterly surprised that he has lived as long as he has . Everyone knows he deals drugs , Drinks , and runs around . He steals and has brought a disgrace to the town !
The Prosecutor , looking rather smug at this point , now ask ............... Mrs Annabelle , do You know me ?
Mrs Annabelle looks at him hard and says ............. Yes Young man , I know you well . Its your wife that Timothy the defense Lawyer had an affair with . Maybe if you had been in town taking care of your kids instead of spending all your money at the Gambling boat , she wouldn't have felt the need to cheat . Your a disgrace to your profession . You have lied and cheated your way to get elected to the town council . You take bribes to decide who to prosecute . You have been seen around town with one of the city's Lady's of the evening and THEN have the GAUL to sit on the front pew at church all high and mighty ! Yes young man I know you well !!
Again The Reporters Cameras Flash , and more Notes are written at breakneck speed !
The Prosecutor , standing there with a shocked look on his face , didn't hear the judge call him at first . The Judge clears his throat and calls again ! ......................... I WANT BOTH OF YOU LAWYERS IN FRONT OF MY BENCH NOW .
The defense and prosecutor walk meekly over to the judge , he glares down at them hard .
In whispered tones , so the court and the reporters wont hear he makes a simple statement .
" Gentlemen , you will excuse Mrs Annabelle Smith from being a juror without prejudice "instantly".......... before one of you FOOLS has a chance to ask her if she knows ME !!
Friday, April 23, 2010
Anyone wanna hazard a Guess Who ??
OK Now Only 1 Guess per person .
Thursday, March 18, 2010
These are NOT my original ideas , but have been gleaned from Various areas of the world !
Read and Enjoy ! I SURE DID !
The First Item I would Need Several To Help My Day . Hmmm wonder if they come for dogs TO ?
HEHEHE ! STILL HERE ? OK Here Goes .
Hmmmmmmmmmm OHHHHH SASSY MILK MAID !! Maybe if she drinks this she remember to say hello ROFLMAO !
I like This One !
Maybe Would Help Willow Witch Deal with Troublesome People ? Ummmmmmmm Just a Thunk . lolol Actually I coulda used these SEVERAL times !
And Last but CERTAINLY NOT least .
In The Favor of TRUTH in ADVERTISING LAWS , I believe the following should be posted in a inconspicuous area , maybe the tookis region for a mans welfare and Happiness in Life !!
OK OK ILL LEAVE NOW !!
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
OK So Toyota is having troubles with their cars accelerator system . It seems that they just take off and wont slow down. OK THIS NEEDS FIXED !! And I guess there are some fatalities that have taken place due to this and THAT is UNACCEPTABLE . I don't want ANYONE to think or feel I'm making light of the situation , I'm not .
This is extremely serious .
HOWEVER , Part of the problem is that PEOPLE in general have gotten to the point that all they know about their vehicles is , GAS / BRAKE / And POINT where ya wanna go !
And that is a MAJOR problem .
Here is my Point , I read about a person going down road and its running at high rate of speed and wont slow down. The cop pulls up beside him and yells pull emergency brake and put foot on brake at same time . Thereby burning up the brakes in mean time !
NOW , did it ever cross any ones mind to just " PUT IT IN NEUTRAL" !!!
WELLLLLLLL DUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !!
Even a blown engine is better than wrecking , so you put in neutral and wait till it stops then turn off ignition !
The point is people DON'T know there cars and therefore PANIC . And PART of the reason is because in the Schools have decided that Sports are more important than shop class !
As A Kid Growing up , I could change my oil , change a tire , and various other basic things by 15 . By the time I graduated from High school I had been through a shop class and had COMPLETELY REBUILT AN ENGINE ! But Hey I'm old school I guess .
Guess my point is that there is a whole world of things people NEED to know about driving not just point and drive . LEARN about the potentially deadly thing your setting in !
Parents , MAKE YOUR KIDS LEARN TO ! Go With Them , THAT QUALITY time could just save YOUR and THEIR Lives !
So do me a favor people , If all you wanna do is , Gas / Brake / Point . Please don't point it at me !
Don't Like My Opinion ? I Don't Care , Its My SandBox I'll Pee In It If I Want To !!
Sunday, February 28, 2010
First of all I would like to express my sadness in the loss of an athlete in such a manner . No one should be put into a position that they are facing such danger to compete in a sport . Several people have been injured in these games , some serious some not so much. However its my feeling that the Olympic committee should be addressing the safety of such sports BEFORE the people are put into that situation.
Secondly , I am of the opinion that the Committee is TO concerned about the overall thought of how does the athletes behavior reflect on the games . So the Canadian women smoke Cigars !! Big Hairy Flipping deal !! Get over it ! BE A LITTLE MORE CONCERNED WITH POINT #1
Third, I have always been against the idea of professionals being part of the Olympics . There used to be a time when the AMATURE'S were the ones who represented their respective homes . And Guess What FEWER PEOPLE GOT KILLED AND HURT !! Do you know why ?
Because they didn't have to push the boundaries of safety and make it faster and harder.
( SEE POINT # 1 )
Fourth , Lets have more " Games Oriented " Olympics . They have become much like the Professional games we see all the time . I wanna see the athletes Playing Not listen to all the Commentators explaining to me what I just saw ! I'M NOT AN IDIOT ! I SAW IT ! I DON'T NEED YOUR EXPLANATION !! Which takes us back to point #2. IF the athletes mess up , less will be thought about it if YOU NEWS PEOPLE SHUT UP AND DON'T TALK ABOUT IT ! That way maybe the committee can focus more on the REAL concerns !
I don't want people to think I'm am against the Olympics , I love watching the games . Some of the best performances Ive ever seen have taken place . That's just the point , that's what we want to see . There are SOOOOOOOO many excellent athletes that compete and do a wonderful job of representation , lets focus on that and leave the other stuff out.
Make a concerted effort to make sure that ANYTHING we see is the GOOD stuff , Positive .
My hats off to all the competitors , win or lose they have done their best and have been able to represent their homes . THAT is winning ! And I believe that they ALL should be able to take home a trophy for their efforts ! Maybe a ring that shows there involvement !
All in all I have been VERY pleased with what Ive seen , the abilities of these people is just awesome . ALL should be applauded and praised for their ability and effort !
WE AT THE COFFEE SHOP SALUTE YOU !
Thursday, February 4, 2010
The Beer making Rulers Of The World Have seen It In There Infinite Wisdom To Make A Beer Especially For Guys Like Me !
I Think I Have Bro-mance Going Here .
*wipes tear from my eye *
This Is A day To Be Remembered Into The Vastness Of the History Books :
Read About It here !
With mountains of deep-fried chicken wings and enough guacamole to turn you green, the Super Bowl is the day when diets die a cholesterol-choked death.
But while your waist may balloon, who says you need to sport a matching beer belly too? This week marks the release of Anheuser-Busch's Select 55, a light beer that's barely more caloric -- and flavorful -- than water.
Clocking in at a slender 55 calories and 1.9 grams of carb's per 12-ounce bottle, Select is the self-professed "world's lightest beer," a statement that's as enticing as "the world's tastiest rice cake."
WELL FOLKS !! The Week has turned around and the sky is blue the birds are chirping and the Coffeemans Life has become worth Living .
Seeeeeeeeeeeeee Ya at the Beer barn !!
Friday, January 15, 2010
I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before all of the places are filled.
I was restless at first because you get to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m. But I am getting so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot, and shine some things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay. Practically nothing.
Men got to shave but it is not so bad, there's warm water. Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie and other regular food, but tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit by the two city boys that live on coffee. Their food, plus yours, holds you until noon when you get fed again. It's no wonder these city boys can't walk much.
We go on 'route marches,' which the platoon sergeant says are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it's not my place to tell him different. A 'route march' is about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys get sore feet and we all ride back in trucks.
The sergeant is like a school teacher. He nags a lot. The Captain is like the school board. Majors and colonels just ride around and frown. They don't bother you none.
This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing. I keep getting medals for shooting. I don't know why.. The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk head and don't move, and it ain't shooting at you like the Higgett boys at home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it. You don't even load your own cartridges They come in boxes.
Then we have what they call hand-to-hand combat training. You get to wrestle with them city boys. I have to be real careful though, they break real easy. It ain't like trying to castrate them young bulls at home. I'm about the best they got in this except for that Tug Jordan from over in Silver Lake . I only beat him once... He joined up the same time as me, but I'm only 5'6' and 130 pounds and he's 6' 6" and near 300 pounds dry.
Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join before other fellers get onto this setup and come stampeding in.
Your loving daughter,