Saturday, March 28, 2009

Hello All You CrackPots !

I was sent this recently by a friend and thought it merited posting as well ,


Heres To You : " MilkMansWife "

An elderly Chinese woman had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole which she carried across her neck. One of the pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water.

At the end of the long walks from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only half full. For a full two years this went on daily, with the woman bringing home only one and a half pots of water. Of course , the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it could only do half of what it had been made to do.

After two years of what it perceived to be bitter failure, it spoke to the woman one day by the stream

'I am ashamed of myself, because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your house.

' The old woman smiled,

'Did you notice that there are flowers on your side of the path, but not on the other pot's side? ' 'That's because I have always known about your flaw, so I
planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you water them.' 'For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table.

Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the house.'

Each of us has our own unique flaw. But it's the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding.

You've just got to take each person for what they are and look for the good in them. SO, to all of my crackpot friends, have a great day and remember to smell the flowers on your side of the path!

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Through The Eyes Of A Child

I dont normally post ANYTHING about Religion Or Politics , But I COULD NOT let this one go .
It is a little long but worth EVERY minute !

A child was asked to write a book report on the entire Bible.
I wonder how often we take for granted that children understand what we are teaching???

Through the eyes of a child: The Children's Bible in a Nutshell

In the beginning, which occurred near the start, there was nothing but God, darkness, and some gas. The Bible says, 'The Lord thy God is one, but I think He must be a lot older than that. Anyway, God said, 'Give me a light!' and someone did. Then God made the world.

He split the Adam and made Eve. Adam and Eve were naked, but they weren't embarrassed because mirrors hadn't been invented yet. Adam and Eve disobeyed God by eating one bad apple, so they were driven from the Garden of Eden . Not sure what they were driven in though, because they didn't have cars. Adam and Eve had a son, Cain, who hated his brother as long as he was Abel.

Pretty soon all of the early people died off, except for Methuselah , who lived to be like a million or something. One of the next important people was Noah, who was a good guy, but one of his kids was kind of a Ham. Noah built a large boat and put his family and some animals on it. He asked some other people to join him, but they said they would have to take a rain check.

After Noah came Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Jacob was more famous than his brother, Esau, because Esau sold Jacob his birthmark in exchange for some pot roast. Jacob had a son named Joseph who wore a really loud sports coat. Another important Bible guy is Moses, whose real name was Charlton Heston . Moses led the Israel Lights out of Egypt and away from the evil Pharaoh after God sent ten plagues on Pharaoh's people.These plagues included frogs, mice, lice, bowels, and no cable.

God fed the Israel Lights every day with manicotti. Then he gave them His Top Ten Commandments. These include: don't lie, cheat, smoke, dance, or covet your neighbor's stuff.

Oh, yeah, I just thought of one more: Humor thy father and thy mother. One of Moses' best helpers was Joshua who was the first Bible guy to use spies. Joshua fought the battle of Geritol and the fence fell over on the town.

After Joshua came David. He got to be king by killing a giant with a slingshot. He had a son named Solomon who had about 300 wives and 500 porcupines. My teacher says he was wise, but that doesn't sound very wise to me.

After Solomon there were a bunch of major league prophets. One of these was Jonah, who was swallowed by a big whale and then barfed up on the shore. There were also some minor league prophets, but I guess we don't have to worry about them. After the Old Testament came the New Testament .

Jesus is the star of The New. He was born in Bethlehem in a barn. (I wish I had been born in a barn too, because my mom is always saying to me, 'Close the door! Were you born in a barn?' It would be nice to say, 'A s a matter of fact, I was.') During His life, Jesus had many arguments with sinners like the Pharisees and the Democrats. Jesus also had twelve opossums. The worst one was Judas Asparagus.

Judas was so evil that they named a terrible vegetable after him. Jesus was a great man. He healed many leopards and even preached to some Germans on the Mount. But the Democrats and all those guys put Jesus on trial before Pontius the Pilot. Pilot didn't stick up for Jesus. He just washed his hands instead.

Anyways, Jesus died for our sins, then came back to life again. He went up to Heaven but will be back at the end of the Aluminum.

His return is foretold in the book of Revolution.

Monday, March 2, 2009

Remember When ?

After reading my post someone sent me this , and it goes right along with what i had said .


Someone asked the other day, 'What was your favorite fast food when you were growing up?''

We didn't have fast food when I was growing up,' I informed him. 'All the food was slow.

''C'mon, seriously. Where did you eat?' 'It was a place called 'at home,'' I explained!

'Mom cooked every day, and when Dad got home from work, we sat down together at the dining room table, and if I didn't like what she put on my plate I was allowed to sit there until I did like it.

'By this time, the kid was laughing so hard I was afraid he was going to suffer serious internal damage, so I didn't tell him the part about how I had to have permission to leave the table.

But here are some other things I would have told him about my childhood if I figured his system could have handled it:

( 1 ) Some parents NEVER owned their own house, wore Levis, set foot on a golf course, traveled out of the country, or had a credit card.

( 2 ) In their later years they had something called a revolving charge card. The card was good only at Sears Roebuck. Or maybe it was Sears& Roebuck. Either way, there is no Roebuck anymore. Maybe he died.

( 3 ) My parents never drove me to soccer practice. This was mostly because we never had heard of soccer.

( 4 ) I had a bicycle that weighed probably 50 pounds and only had one speed, (slow).

( 5 ) We didn't have a television in our house until I was 12. It was, of course, black and white, and the station went off the air at midnight after playing the national anthem and a poem about God; it came back on the air at about 6 a.m., and there was usually a locally produced news and farm show on, featuring local people.

( 6 ) I was 16 before I tasted my first pizza, it was called 'pizza pie. 'When I bit into it, I burned the roof of my mouth and the cheese slid off, swung down, plastered itself against my chin and burned that, too. It's still the best pizza I ever had.

( 7 ) We didn't have a car until I was 4. It was an old black Dodge.

( 8 ) I never had a telephone in my room. The only phone in the house was in the living room, and it was on a party line. Before you could dial, you had to listen and make sure some people you didn't know weren't already using the line. And before you could answer the phone , you had to make sure it was your ring ! Thats right you had a particular ring that was only for you , you DID NOT answer someone elses ring !

( 9 ) Pizzas were not delivered to our home, but milk was.

( 10 ) All newspapers were delivered by boys and all boys delivered newspapers--my brother delivered a newspaper six days a week. It cost 7 cents a paper, of which he got to keep 2 cents. He had to get up at 6AM every morning. On Saturday, he had to collect the 42 cents from his customers. His favorite customers were the ones who gave him 50 cents and told him to keep the change. His least favorite customers were the ones who never seemed to be home on collection day.

( 11 ) Movie stars kissed with their mouths shut. At least, they did in the movies. There were no movie ratings because all movies were responsibly produced for everyone to enjoy viewing without profanity or violence or most anything offensive.

SO !!

If you grew up in a generation before there was fast food, you may want to share some of these memories with your children or grandchildren. Just don't blame me if they bust a gut laughing.

Growing up isn't what it used to be, is it?

Dont Like My Opinion ? I Dont Care , Its My SandBox I'll Pee In It If I Want To !!