Friday, August 10, 2007

A MEAN DAD !! ( I love It )

I cannot claim to be the person responsible for this poetry, but it is awesome. PLEASE take the time to read it through. ESPECIALLY if you are a parent or a teenager !!

( SON )

My son came home from school one day, With a smirk upon his face.
He decided he was smart enough , to put me in my place.
Guess what I learned in civics two, That's taught by Mr. Wright?
Its all about the laws today, THE CHILDREN'S BILL OF RIGHTS !

It says , I need not clean my room, And don't have to cut my hair!
No one can tell me what to think, Or speak or what to wear.
I have a freedom from religion, And regardless what YOU say.
I don't have to Bow my head, And I sure don't have to pray !

I can wear earrings if I want, And pierce my tongue and nose.
I can read and watch just what I like, Get Tattoos Head to toe !!
And if you spank me on my butt , I'll charge you with a crime.
And I'll back up my charge, with the marks on my behind.
Don't preach to me about your morals, Like your Momma did to you.
THAT'S nothing more than Mind control, and that's Illegal TOO !

Dad I have these children's Rights, You cant influence me.
Or i'll call children's service division, Better known as C.S.D.

( DAD )

Of course my first instinct was, to toss him out the door.
But the chance a lesson to teach, Made me think a little more.
I mulled it over carefully, I couldn't let this go.
I smile came across my face, He's Messing with a PRO !

Next day shopping we went, to the local goodwill store.
I told him " Pick out all you want" There's shirts and pants galore !
I called and checked with C.S.D. , Who said they didn't care.
If I bought you Goodwill shoes , Instead of Nike Airs!

I've canceled That appointment, To take your drivers test.
The C.S.D. Is " unconcerned ", So I'LL decide whats best.
Sorry no time to stop and eat, Or pick up stuff to munch.
And tomorrow you can start to learn, To make your OWN sack lunch .

Just save the raging appetite, and wait for dinner time.
Were having liver and onions, a favorite dish of MINE.
And no, a movie we wont rent, To watch on your VCR.
I sold your TV and your Tapes, To put tires on my car.

I also rented out your room, The couch is yours instead.
All the C.S.D. Requires of me, Is put a roof over your head.
Your clothes wont be trendy now, I'll choose what we eat.
That allowance you used to get, I'll save for something Neat.

I'm selling off your jet ski , Dirt bike and roller blades.

How do you like the " PARENTS BILL OF RIGHTS "
its in effect today !

Whats this hot shot, are you crying ? Why are you on your knees?
Are you asking God to help, INSTEAD of C.S.D.?

And about those marks left on your Butt , From Bad attitude and Lip.
If I'm going to go to jail , ILL MAKE IT WORTH MY TRIP !!

You may not like my opinion, But I dont care !! Its my sandbox and I'll pee in it if I want to !!

Sunday, August 5, 2007

It Could Be YOU

Just when I thought things couldn't get worse on our nations Highways, along comes the Gadget boys with another Toy that the average American cant live without.

I'm talking about the iPhone .

I have a cell phone and am an advocate of communication, However I would like to point out that the iPhone has taken that idea to a whole new level. I like to call my friends and receive calls from my friends as much as the next guy.

But all I want is a phone that can make and receive calls WITHOUT DROPPING THE CALL !!
You would think they could put a little research into the QUALITY of the CONNECTION !!
I don't need all the fancy stuff that goes along with the gadgets of today.

I don't need a camera !
I don't need to download tunes !
I don't need stock market reports !
I don't need to text message my friends !
I don't need a comprehensive phone book !
I don't need a list of every seafood place in America !

I need to make and receive a CALL !!!

The thing that really has me worried about this whole situation is that , up until this point all I had to be concerned about was someone coming at me at 65 miles an hour talking on the phone.

Things have gotten a whole lot more complicated . Now I have to be worried about someone, or someones teenager, coming at me at 65 miles an hour DOWNLOADING PORN !!

You may not like my opinion, But I don't care !! Its my sandbox and I'll pee in it if I want to !!