Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Carefull What You Ask A Farm Grandma !!

A small town farm Grandma named Annabelle Smith was summoned for jury duty one summer to hear a case about alleged misconduct from a local hooligan . As she sat in the court room waiting her turn to be asked several questions by the Defense Lawyer and the Prosecution , she watched with glee the proceedings having never been in the court room before .

After a bit the court Called Mrs Annabelle Smith to the stand , she gleefully walked up to the podium and sat down waiting the questions.

The first was the Defense lawyer . As he walked up he smiled ever so kindly and decided to start easy . He asked her a simple question . ........ Ma am ....... being ever the gentleman ......... Do you know me he asked .

Mrs Annabell looked at him and said . ......................... Yes I do Timothy , Ive known you since you were a little rotten kid busting windows all over town . Everyone knows you cheated your way through school and probably law school as well . You have been married twice , cheated on both women , have several children from women NOT living in this town . Your a cheat and a shyster and I wouldn't have anything to do with you if i hadn't been called here today !!

At this point the Reporters Cameras are Flashing hard and the notes are being scribbled fast.

The defense lawyer taken aback .....looked at her and the judge shocked . I..I...I .. have no further questions. And he promptly sat down.

The Prosecution was grinning from ear to ear as he stood up.

Walking up , He asked , My I call you Mrs Annabelle ? She nodded . He Looked at the defense lawyer , back at Mrs Annabelle and asked .

Do You Know the defendant ? ...................... Looking over at him she said yes , His name is Terry , he has been a hooligan all his life and I am utterly surprised that he has lived as long as he has . Everyone knows he deals drugs , Drinks , and runs around . He steals and has brought a disgrace to the town !

The Prosecutor , looking rather smug at this point , now ask ............... Mrs Annabelle , do You know me ?

Mrs Annabelle looks at him hard and says ............. Yes Young man , I know you well . Its your wife that Timothy the defense Lawyer had an affair with . Maybe if you had been in town taking care of your kids instead of spending all your money at the Gambling boat , she wouldn't have felt the need to cheat . Your a disgrace to your profession . You have lied and cheated your way to get elected to the town council . You take bribes to decide who to prosecute . You have been seen around town with one of the city's Lady's of the evening and THEN have the GAUL to sit on the front pew at church all high and mighty ! Yes young man I know you well !!

Again The Reporters Cameras Flash , and more Notes are written at breakneck speed !

The Prosecutor , standing there with a shocked look on his face , didn't hear the judge call him at first . The Judge clears his throat and calls again ! ......................... I WANT BOTH OF YOU LAWYERS IN FRONT OF MY BENCH NOW .

The defense and prosecutor walk meekly over to the judge , he glares down at them hard .

In whispered tones , so the court and the reporters wont hear he makes a simple statement .

" Gentlemen , you will excuse Mrs Annabelle Smith from being a juror without prejudice "instantly".......... before one of you FOOLS has a chance to ask her if she knows ME !!