Thursday, November 29, 2007

COUNTRY FOLKS KNOW !!

Only Country Folks Know Certain things in life.

Here are a few I have come up with that prove its better to be Country Folk.

( 1 ) Only Country Folks know the difference between a " Hissie fit " and a " Conniption fit " and that You don't HAVE them , You THROW them !!
( 2 ) Only Country Folk know how many Fish, Collard Greens, Turnip Greens , Peas , Beans , Corn Etc: it takes to make a "MESS" of them !
( 3 ) Only Country Folks can tell you , point out , or take you in the direction of " YONDER"
( 4 ) Only Country Folks know how long " Directly " is.
( 5 ) Only Country Folks know that " Gimme some Sugars" is not a request for sweetener !
( 6 ) Only Country Folks know that the best way to help a neighbor in need includes a " Full plate of Fried Chicken " and a " Bowl of Tater Salad " and if its a real crisis it includes "Nanner Puddin " !
( 7 ) Only Country Folks grow up knowing the difference between a " Right Near " and a " Right Far Piece " and that " Just down the road" can be up to 20 miles .
( 8 ) Only Country Folks Know that " Fixin " can be a NOUN, VERB, or ADVERB
( 9 ) Only Country Folks can make friends while standing in a long line , cause everybodys " Kinfolks "!

( 10 ) Only Country Folks know that " Grits " come from corn and that you " Eat Them "
( 11 ) Only Country Folks know the difference and ask for " Sweet Tea " and " Sweet Milk " !
( 12 ) Only Country Folks know that you never yell obscenities at the little old lady driving 30 miles an hour , You just say " Bless Her Little Heart " and move on !
( 13 ) Only Country Folks know how many people it takes to make up " Ya'LL " !

Got any recommendations for ones i've missed, Lets hear them in your comments

And Y'all have a nice day !!


You may not like my opinion, But I dont care !! Its my sandbox and I'll pee in it if I want to !

Saturday, October 27, 2007

Mens Rules To Live By For The Ladies

I cannot take credit for writing this material , but as a Man I find it to be very true. I hope that all the women out there get there own personal copy ! Feel free to copy this and give it to your wife !

Finally, The guys side of the story. We always hear the RULES from the female side. NOW we get the mans side of the story !!

Please note LADIES these are ALL numbered # 1 on PURPOSE !!

# 1 Men are NOT mind readers !
# 1 Learn to work the Toilet Seat FOR YOURSELF. If its up put it down .
( subsection )You don't hear us whining about YOU leaving it down !!
# 1 Sunday Sports is like the full moon and changing tides !! LEAVE IT ALONE !!
# 1 Crying is BLACKMAIL ! Don't do it.
# 1 Ask for what you WANT !! Follow me here !!
( subsection ) Subtle hints don't work
( subsection ) Strong hints don't work
( subsection ) Obvious hints don't work !
# 1 YES and NO are perfectly good answers to almost every question !!
# 1 Come to us with a problem ONLY IF YOU WANT TO SOLVE IT !! If you want sympathy that's what girlfriends are for !
# 1 Anything we said 6 months ago is NOT admissible in an argument !!
# 1 If you think you are FAT , You probably ARE ! Don't Ask !
# 1 If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes you sad or angry,
We meant the OTHER one!
# 1 You can either ASK us to do something , or TELL us HOW you want it done , NOT BOTH !
# 1 Whenever possible Please say what you want during Time Outs or Commercials.
# 1 IF IT ITCHES WE WILL SCRATCH IT !! Leave it alone !!
# 1 If we ask whats wrong and you say " Nothing " we will believe you , we know your lying but its less painful that way !
# 1 If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
# 1 When we go out , ANYTHING you wear IS FINE !! REALLY !!
# 1 Don't ask us what we are thinking about !! ( see rule #1 two places above )
# 1 YOU HAVE ENOUGH CLOTHES !
( subsection ) YOU HAVE TOO MANY SHOES !
# 1 I Am in shape ROUND IS a SHAPE !

You may not like my opinion, But I dont care ! Its my sandbox and i'll pee in it if I want to !

Friday, August 10, 2007

A MEAN DAD !! ( I love It )

I cannot claim to be the person responsible for this poetry, but it is awesome. PLEASE take the time to read it through. ESPECIALLY if you are a parent or a teenager !!

( SON )

My son came home from school one day, With a smirk upon his face.
He decided he was smart enough , to put me in my place.
Guess what I learned in civics two, That's taught by Mr. Wright?
Its all about the laws today, THE CHILDREN'S BILL OF RIGHTS !

It says , I need not clean my room, And don't have to cut my hair!
No one can tell me what to think, Or speak or what to wear.
I have a freedom from religion, And regardless what YOU say.
I don't have to Bow my head, And I sure don't have to pray !

I can wear earrings if I want, And pierce my tongue and nose.
I can read and watch just what I like, Get Tattoos Head to toe !!
And if you spank me on my butt , I'll charge you with a crime.
And I'll back up my charge, with the marks on my behind.
Don't preach to me about your morals, Like your Momma did to you.
THAT'S nothing more than Mind control, and that's Illegal TOO !

Dad I have these children's Rights, You cant influence me.
Or i'll call children's service division, Better known as C.S.D.

( DAD )

Of course my first instinct was, to toss him out the door.
But the chance a lesson to teach, Made me think a little more.
I mulled it over carefully, I couldn't let this go.
I smile came across my face, He's Messing with a PRO !

Next day shopping we went, to the local goodwill store.
I told him " Pick out all you want" There's shirts and pants galore !
I called and checked with C.S.D. , Who said they didn't care.
If I bought you Goodwill shoes , Instead of Nike Airs!

I've canceled That appointment, To take your drivers test.
The C.S.D. Is " unconcerned ", So I'LL decide whats best.
Sorry no time to stop and eat, Or pick up stuff to munch.
And tomorrow you can start to learn, To make your OWN sack lunch .

Just save the raging appetite, and wait for dinner time.
Were having liver and onions, a favorite dish of MINE.
And no, a movie we wont rent, To watch on your VCR.
I sold your TV and your Tapes, To put tires on my car.

I also rented out your room, The couch is yours instead.
All the C.S.D. Requires of me, Is put a roof over your head.
Your clothes wont be trendy now, I'll choose what we eat.
That allowance you used to get, I'll save for something Neat.

I'm selling off your jet ski , Dirt bike and roller blades.

How do you like the " PARENTS BILL OF RIGHTS "
its in effect today !

Whats this hot shot, are you crying ? Why are you on your knees?
Are you asking God to help, INSTEAD of C.S.D.?

And about those marks left on your Butt , From Bad attitude and Lip.
If I'm going to go to jail , ILL MAKE IT WORTH MY TRIP !!


You may not like my opinion, But I dont care !! Its my sandbox and I'll pee in it if I want to !!

Sunday, August 5, 2007

It Could Be YOU

Just when I thought things couldn't get worse on our nations Highways, along comes the Gadget boys with another Toy that the average American cant live without.

I'm talking about the iPhone .

I have a cell phone and am an advocate of communication, However I would like to point out that the iPhone has taken that idea to a whole new level. I like to call my friends and receive calls from my friends as much as the next guy.

But all I want is a phone that can make and receive calls WITHOUT DROPPING THE CALL !!
You would think they could put a little research into the QUALITY of the CONNECTION !!
I don't need all the fancy stuff that goes along with the gadgets of today.

I don't need a camera !
I don't need to download tunes !
I don't need stock market reports !
I don't need to text message my friends !
I don't need a comprehensive phone book !
I don't need a list of every seafood place in America !

I need to make and receive a CALL !!!

The thing that really has me worried about this whole situation is that , up until this point all I had to be concerned about was someone coming at me at 65 miles an hour talking on the phone.

Things have gotten a whole lot more complicated . Now I have to be worried about someone, or someones teenager, coming at me at 65 miles an hour DOWNLOADING PORN !!

You may not like my opinion, But I don't care !! Its my sandbox and I'll pee in it if I want to !!

Wednesday, July 4, 2007

What A Tragedy !!

Kansas Shoppers Step Over Dying Woman ??

Have you Read This Item Yet ?? Use The Link !!
Filed Under: Crime News, Nation

I find it so hard to believe that people can be so callous to others suffering. It is appalling that people have so little care for others that they see in difficult situations.

I DO Believe that part of the problem is due to the Violence we see so prevalent on Television and the Movies as well as the Video Games we see being sold in abundance in today's society.

We can try and kid ourselves all we want to, the fact remains , Violence viewed as entertainment is jading people to the suffering going on around them. The more we allow this type of thinking to rule our society , the more we will see this type of behavior from the world around us.

Are not the individuals who Ignored the woman in this instance , JUST AS GUILTY of her death , as the ones who committed the crime ?

Ignoring a crime, should be punishable !!
When we allow something like this to happen and we do nothing about it , are we not tacitly approving the actions of the criminal ??
The Individuals who ignored this poor woman , and you know who you are, should be Horse Whipped !!


You may not like my opinion, But I don't Care !! Its my sandbox and I will Pee in it if I want to !!

Sunday, June 17, 2007

We Live In A " Throw Away " Society

We live in a world today that is very much a "THROW AWAY" Society. People don't seem to have , or place, value in things like they used to. Oh they do place value in HAVING things , but it does not seem that they place value in the things they have.

For Example , The world of commerce would have us think that something is of no value now because the "NEWER VERSION " is now available. If you purchase a computer , within 6 months , it is obsolete. Does not matter whether it still works perfectly or not !

How many times have you purchased the " NEWER / BETTER " computer program only to find out it isn't half what the old one was , or doesn't seem to work right ? But Hey !!!! I got the NEW one !

A new car , why does it seem to be the idea that we HAVE to have the new Car, Just because the new line has come out ? The old one works just fine.....

And I have seen the Commercials that are focused at our children, If I were so inclined , I would be purchasing the " Newest / Better " sports shoes for my kids every other week !

But if you tell people That those things are not a priority in your life they think you are nuts ... as though "Having the Newest " Things are what its all about !

Now we come to the Reason for this post ... I was recently accosted by a Movie / Show Promotion that has taken " THROW AWAY " to the ultimate level .

The Movie / Show is
** THE STARTER WIFE **

And I am sure people are going to say , its a comedy, or it isn't real , or some mundane thing like that. But as far as I am concerned , it is EXACTLY part of what is wrong in society today. Why would I want to be entertained by this idea ? We have come to the point in our culture that now " MARRIAGE " is a throw away ?

Now I do not wish to belittle the efforts of the cast of that movie, nor am I saying people should avoid it. What I am saying is the very premise of that , is part of the underlying problem we see in the world today. Well over HALF of Marriages end in Divorce. This is a cold hard fact. And Yet we are allowing ourselves to be ........Wait ...... We are going to the Theaters and PAYING a lot of money to be entertained by these ideas.
If this is true then I really am concerned about the direction that we are headed as a society.

You may not like my opinion, But I don't Care !! Its my sandbox and I'll Pee in it if I want to !!

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Enough Already !!

I have been listening to the media going nuts over the Paris Hilton Saga long enough. Its not that I want to be listening to it, but its everywhere. You cant seem to get away from it.
Well Now its time for me to chime in. I want to express right away that -
I AM NOT IN FAVOR OF CHILD ABUSE.
However , I do believe that there is a MAJOR difference between Abuse and Discipline.
I was raised by strict parents who would not think twice about laying down the law with a switch, belt, paddle, If it were warranted. And believe me it was warranted on occasion.
Neither myself or my siblings were abused in any way form or fashion. BUT WE DID LEARN MANNERS AND RESPECT FOR OURSELVES AND OTHERS !!

I have to believe that the attitudes and actions of someone like the various little girls .... And I do mean LITTLE GIRLS that we see plastered all over our screens are a direct result of lack of discipline. We are told that we cannot discipline our children anymore and the Prisons are running over with people.
We are told that schools cannot discipline children anymore and we have schools out of control and Shootings on a regular basis anymore !!
WAKE UP PEOPLE !!! THERE IS A CONNECTION !!!
And now she is saying its the ADD .
OH HORSE BISCUIT'S !!
The world is full of people dealing with various problems everyday who are not on the news crying like spoiled brats because life is so hard !!

Sorry Paris!! The only thing wrong here is that you and some of your friends have never felt the business end of a belt!! Grow up and stop wasting our time with your petty whining !!
I would almost rather watch Reality shows that have to see this Garbage all the time, and you all know how I feel about Reality Shows !!

Don't Like My Opinion ? I don't care !! Its my sandbox and I'll pee in it if i want to !!

Monday, May 28, 2007

" REALITY TELEVISON "

I am going to rant for a few minutes about the serious lack of good television these days.
It seems that everything has gone to " REALITY TV " .
Where in the Sam hill did these people get the idea that this is reality ?
I have watched a few of these so called " Reality Shows " and after a few minutes I have the overriding desire to fire off a couple of rounds into the TV.
I have seen about 5 minutes of Big Brother, what a waste of time. HEY PEOPLE , Get your lazy butts out of the house and get a JOB !!

THAT'S REALITY !!

Now I will admit that there are a few shows that do require some talent, and my wife even disagrees with my summation of this post. She likes "Dancing with the stars "
And it would appear that they are working at becoming a better dancer than they were.

But why is it with the stars ? Why not invite Joe Redneck Citizen To try dancing, and see if it sells, it may not, but at least it would be REALITY !!

I guess I just come from a time when " REALITY TELEVISION " was the NEWS !

Well I guess that's enough of that for the moment. Am I the only person alive today who has had enough of the ( Big Brother , Survivor , Hells Kitchen , Bachelor , ........... ) it seems like the list doesn't end !

WHAT DO YOU THINK ?

Sunday, May 20, 2007

My Vote For "MOM OF THE WEEK AWARD"

I was going through the recent Sunday paper and I came across this little bit of news that I thought I would share with you all today.

Obviously their are people who will disagree with me in my summation of this event , If so please feel free to submit your comments .

I wanted to nominate this mom for the Coffee Shop Mom of the Week award, if nothing else but for her determination in making sure her son learned a lesson.

Many parents would have lashed out at the school system, argued against the discipline handed out or ranted and raved about the unfairness of said situation.

This news clipping makes me appreciate that there are still people who want the same values that I hold dear.

Kudos To You Mam

Keep up the fine work !!

We at the Coffee Shop Salute You Mam !!

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

1st Topic " MANNERS "

What is it with kids today? Or even adults? I remember a time when common manners were expected from people, but it seems now that those instances are few and far between. I will admit that there are many people today , both young and older , that DO attempt to show courtesy, but as a whole the idea has gone by the wayside !

I remember when people would hold a door for an elderly person, or say yes mam or yes sir.
Simple courtesy's that don't seem to matter to most folks anymore.

Today we have , not only the young , but adults who ignore the basic tenants of common decency. Being overly loud at restaurant's, Using Cell phones at inappropriate times, Inappropriate language, just to name a few. This list could go on and on.



What Do You Think ?


I cant help but wonder what the world will be like in regards to manners in 10...15...20 yrs.


Tuesday, May 15, 2007

WELCOME

I would like to welcome everyone to the Coffee Shop. This is a place where we can come together and have some good clean fun. Maybe discuss a few topics over a fresh pot of Coffee.

Please feel free to comment on anything with the Exception of Politics and Religion. We are probably not going to agree anyway.

Choose a topic and vent, discuss, or just make fun . Leave your thoughts in the current comment box and After checking the post for (PG RATNG ) they will then be accepted for posting as long as they meet the above criteria.

Please keep all comments free from profanity, otherwise they will not be posted.

I hope to see you all soon !

The Coffee Man