My New Doctor ( I Love This Guy )

I am so excited , I have finally found a doctor I can relate to. He thinks like I do and I believe I will be able to follow his Medical Advice to the letter.

I know !! I Know !! There has to be a catch right?

Well you read through the advice he gave me and tell me how this is a bad thing !!


My Question :
I've heard that Cardiovascular Exercise can prolong life , Is that true ?

His Answer :

Your Heart is only good for so many beats , and that's it ! Don't waste them on exercise . Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer, that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving faster !

Want to live longer ??? Take A Nap !!

My Question :
Are There ANY advantages in participating in a regular exercise program ?

His Answer :

Cant think of a single one !! My philosophy is .... NO PAIN ? .... GOOD!!

My Question :
How Can I Calculate my Body Fat ?

His Answer :

Well, If you have (1 ) Body and you have fat, That's a ratio of ( 1 ) to ( 1 )
If you have two body's and you have fat its ( 2 ) to ( 1 )

Simple See !!!

I LOVE THIS GUY !!!!


You may not like my opinion , but I don't care !! Its my sandbox and I'll Pee in it if I want to !

The Meanest Mom On The Planet ( I love it )

This Material Was Found On AP News Filed Under Weird News


The Following Was Something I Read Yesterday and Would Like To Honor This Woman For Her Common Sense and Willingness To Stand On Her Principles.

The Material Read As Follows:

"" After Finding Alcohol In Her Sons Car , Jane Hambleton , Decided To Sell The Car And Share Her 19 Yr Olds Misdeed With Everyone By Placing An Ad In The Newspaper. ""

"" OLDS 1999 Intrigue""

Totally Uncool Parents Who Obviously Don't Love Their Teenage Son , Selling His Car.
Only Driven 3 Weeks Before Snooping Mom Who Needs To Get A Life Found Booze Under Front Seat. $ 3,700.00 / OBO
Call Meanest Mom On The Planet """

Apparently The Son Claimed That The Booze Was Left By A Passenger, And Mom Believes Him But Has Decided Mercy Was Not Called For Since Her Rules Had Been NO BOOZE In The Car, And KEEP IT LOCKED.

Mrs Hambleton !!

We At The CoffeeShop Proudly

SALUTE YOU !!

You May Not Like My Opinion, But I Dont Care !! Its My SandBox And I'll Pee In It If I Want To !!

COUNTRY FOLKS KNOW !!

Only Country Folks Know Certain things in life.

Here are a few I have come up with that prove its better to be Country Folk.

( 1 ) Only Country Folks know the difference between a " Hissie fit " and a " Conniption fit " and that You don't HAVE them , You THROW them !!
( 2 ) Only Country Folk know how many Fish, Collard Greens, Turnip Greens , Peas , Beans , Corn Etc: it takes to make a "MESS" of them !
( 3 ) Only Country Folks can tell you , point out , or take you in the direction of " YONDER"
( 4 ) Only Country Folks know how long " Directly " is.
( 5 ) Only Country Folks know that " Gimme some Sugars" is not a request for sweetener !
( 6 ) Only Country Folks know that the best way to help a neighbor in need includes a " Full plate of Fried Chicken " and a " Bowl of Tater Salad " and if its a real crisis it includes "Nanner Puddin " !
( 7 ) Only Country Folks grow up knowing the difference between a " Right Near " and a " Right Far Piece " and that " Just down the road" can be up to 20 miles .
( 8 ) Only Country Folks Know that " Fixin " can be a NOUN, VERB, or ADVERB
( 9 ) Only Country Folks can make friends while standing in a long line , cause everybodys " Kinfolks "!
( 10 ) Only Country Folks know that " Grits " come from corn and that you " Eat Them "
( 11 ) Only Country Folks know the difference and ask for " Sweet Tea " and " Sweet Milk " !
( 12 ) Only Country Folks know that you never yell obscenities at the little old lady driving 30 miles an hour , You just say " Bless Her Little Heart " and move on !
( 13 ) Only Country Folks know how many people it takes to make up " Ya'LL " !

Got any recommendations for ones i've missed, Lets hear them in your comments

And Y'all have a nice day !!

You may not like my opinion, But I dont care !! Its my sandbox and I'll pee in it if I want to !

Mens Rules To Live By For The Ladies

I cannot take credit for writing this material , but as a Man I find it to be very true. I hope that all the women out there get there own personal copy ! Feel free to copy this and give it to your wife !

Finally, The guys side of the story. We always hear the RULES from the female side. NOW we get the mans side of the story !!

Please note LADIES these are ALL numbered # 1 on PURPOSE !!

# 1 Men are NOT mind readers !
# 1 Learn to work the Toilet Seat FOR YOURSELF. If its up put it down .
( subsection )You don't hear us whining about YOU leaving it down !!
# 1 Sunday Sports is like the full moon and changing tides !! LEAVE IT ALONE !!
# 1 Crying is BLACKMAIL ! Don't do it.
# 1 Ask for what you WANT !! Follow me here !!
( subsection ) Subtle hints don't work
( subsection ) Strong hints don't work
( subsection ) Obvious hints don't work !
# 1 YES and NO are perfectly good answers to almost every question !!
# 1 Come to us with a problem ONLY IF YOU WANT TO SOLVE IT !! If you want sympathy that's what girlfriends are for !
# 1 Anything we said 6 months ago is NOT admissible in an argument !!
# 1 If you think you are FAT , You probably ARE ! Don't Ask !
# 1 If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes you sad or angry,
We meant the OTHER one!
# 1 You can either ASK us to do something , or TELL us HOW you want it done , NOT BOTH !
# 1 Whenever possible Please say what you want during Time Outs or Commercials.
# 1 IF IT ITCHES WE WILL SCRATCH IT !! Leave it alone !!
# 1 If we ask whats wrong and you say " Nothing " we will believe you , we know your lying but its less painful that way !
# 1 If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
# 1 When we go out , ANYTHING you wear IS FINE !! REALLY !!
# 1 Don't ask us what we are thinking about !! ( see rule #1 two places above )
# 1 YOU HAVE ENOUGH CLOTHES !
( subsection ) YOU HAVE TOO MANY SHOES !
# 1 I Am in shape ROUND IS a SHAPE !

You may not like my opinion, But I dont care ! Its my sandbox and i'll pee in it if I want to !

A MEAN DAD !! ( I love It )

I cannot claim to be the person responsible for this poetry, but it is awesome. PLEASE take the time to read it through. ESPECIALLY if you are a parent or a teenager !!

( SON )

My son came home from school one day, With a smirk upon his face.
He decided he was smart enough , to put me in my place.
Guess what I learned in civics two, That's taught by Mr. Wright?
Its all about the laws today, THE CHILDREN'S BILL OF RIGHTS !

It says , I need not clean my room, And don't have to cut my hair!
No one can tell me what to think, Or speak or what to wear.
I have a freedom from religion, And regardless what YOU say.
I don't have to Bow my head, And I sure don't have to pray !

I can wear earrings if I want, And pierce my tongue and nose.
I can read and watch just what I like, Get Tattoos Head to toe !!
And if you spank me on my butt , I'll charge you with a crime.
And I'll back up my charge, with the marks on my behind.
Don't preach to me about your morals, Like your Momma did to you.
THAT'S nothing more than Mind control, and that's Illegal TOO !

Dad I have these children's Rights, You cant influence me.
Or i'll call children's service division, Better known as C.S.D.

( DAD )

Of course my first instinct was, to toss him out the door.
But the chance a lesson to teach, Made me think a little more.
I mulled it over carefully, I couldn't let this go.
I smile came across my face, He's Messing with a PRO !

Next day shopping we went, to the local goodwill store.
I told him " Pick out all you want" There's shirts and pants galore !
I called and checked with C.S.D. , Who said they didn't care.
If I bought you Goodwill shoes , Instead of Nike Airs!

I've canceled That appointment, To take your drivers test.
The C.S.D. Is " unconcerned ", So I'LL decide whats best.
Sorry no time to stop and eat, Or pick up stuff to munch.
And tomorrow you can start to learn, To make your OWN sack lunch .

Just save the raging appetite, and wait for dinner time.
Were having liver and onions, a favorite dish of MINE.
And no, a movie we wont rent, To watch on your VCR.
I sold your TV and your Tapes, To put tires on my car.

I also rented out your room, The couch is yours instead.
All the C.S.D. Requires of me, Is put a roof over your head.
Your clothes wont be trendy now, I'll choose what we eat.
That allowance you used to get, I'll save for something Neat.

I'm selling off your jet ski , Dirt bike and roller blades.

How do you like the " PARENTS BILL OF RIGHTS "
its in effect today !

Whats this hot shot, are you crying ? Why are you on your knees?
Are you asking God to help, INSTEAD of C.S.D.?

And about those marks left on your Butt , From Bad attitude and Lip.
If I'm going to go to jail , ILL MAKE IT WORTH MY TRIP !!


You may not like my opinion, But I dont care !! Its my sandbox and I'll pee in it if I want to !!

It Could Be YOU

Just when I thought things couldn't get worse on our nations Highways, along comes the Gadget boys with another Toy that the average American cant live without.

I'm talking about the iPhone .

I have a cell phone and am an advocate of communication, However I would like to point out that the iPhone has taken that idea to a whole new level. I like to call my friends and receive calls from my friends as much as the next guy.

But all I want is a phone that can make and receive calls WITHOUT DROPPING THE CALL !!
You would think they could put a little research into the QUALITY of the CONNECTION !!
I don't need all the fancy stuff that goes along with the gadgets of today.

I don't need a camera !
I don't need to download tunes !
I don't need stock market reports !
I don't need to text message my friends !
I don't need a comprehensive phone book !
I don't need a list of every seafood place in America !

I need to make and receive a CALL !!!

The thing that really has me worried about this whole situation is that , up until this point all I had to be concerned about was someone coming at me at 65 miles an hour talking on the phone.

Things have gotten a whole lot more complicated . Now I have to be worried about someone, or someones teenager, coming at me at 65 miles an hour DOWNLOADING PORN !!

You may not like my opinion, But I don't care !! Its my sandbox and I'll pee in it if I want to !!

What A Tragedy !!

Kansas Shoppers Step Over Dying Woman ??

Have you Read This Item Yet ?? Use The Link !!
Filed Under: Crime News, Nation

I find it so hard to believe that people can be so callous to others suffering. It is appalling that people have so little care for others that they see in difficult situations.

I DO Believe that part of the problem is due to the Violence we see so prevalent on Television and the Movies as well as the Video Games we see being sold in abundance in today's society.

We can try and kid ourselves all we want to, the fact remains , Violence viewed as entertainment is jading people to the suffering going on around them. The more we allow this type of thinking to rule our society , the more we will see this type of behavior from the world around us.

Are not the individuals who Ignored the woman in this instance , JUST AS GUILTY of her death , as the ones who committed the crime ?

Ignoring a crime, should be punishable !!
When we allow something like this to happen and we do nothing about it , are we not tacitly approving the actions of the criminal ??
The Individuals who ignored this poor woman , and you know who you are, should be Horse Whipped !!


You may not like my opinion, But I don't Care !! Its my sandbox and I will Pee in it if I want to !!