Remembering My Teen Years

And YES Sassy Waitress I AM gonna hang it in the coffee shop!

Brings Back SOOOOOOOO Many Memories !

RIP !

New Blog To Most

Many of you may not Know , I have a second blog , Wiks-N-Wudwerks . Its listed on my Links at right of page . What it consist of is my Wud Werkin adventures as well as the Candles My Wife Has for sale should anyone be interested. Stop In and say hello .

And Then The Fight Started " Round 3 "

Well Folks , Our Fighters are both just about exhausted . There have been some serious punches thrown here , and i might add after the last round the Husbands were just short of getting knocked out .



I sure hope the coach has gotten the men back on their feet , and stitched up.



However READY OR NOT !


Its Time For : ROUND 3

Remember a clean fight you two !!

DING DING DING

***************************************

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I
kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a
nearby table.

My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'

'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to
drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she
hasn't been sober since.'

'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on
celebrating that long?'

And then the fight started...

******************************************

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my
order first.
"I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."
He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?""
Nah, she can order for herself."

And then the fight started...

******************************************

A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel
horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.
I really need you to pay me a compliment.'

The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'

And then the fight started.....



Look out folks the Wife is Down , we have the ref counting



1





2



Is she gonna be able to recover ?

3





4





5



shes moving trying to get up !



7

She slowly getting to her feet , looks at the husband weaving , and shocked.

***************************************

My cats all get scared on occasion , and when they do there tails poof up !

Husband jumps in and says : Thats right baby , tell people your butts not fat your just SCARED !

And thats when the fight started :


DING DIND DING DING DING

THE FIGHTS OVER !! What an upset , the husbands win with a last minute TKO in the 3rd round !

The crowds going wild , claiming a cheap shot !

We will have to let the fight committee review this , however as for now its the husbands winning in round 3 with a TKO !!

And Then The Fight Started " Round 2"

Well Folks Its Time For ROUND 2 Of Our Great Fight Of The Century !

Remember , Clean Fight , Leave The Inlaws Out of It .


Now Go To Your Corners And come Out Swinging !


DING DING DING



My Wife rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road
and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes
you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah,
well I couldn't believe it.... He was a DWARF!!!

He stormed over to Her car, looked up at Her , and shouted, "I AM NOT HAPPY
!!!"

So, She looked down at him and said, "Well, then which one are you?"

And then the fight started.....

*****************************************

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3
seconds.'

I bought her a scale.

And then the fight started...

******************************************

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace
expensive...
so, I took her to a gas station.

And then the fight started...

******************************************

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social
Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license
to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my
wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have
to go home and come back later.

The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my
curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof
enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the
Social Security office.

She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten
disability, too.'

And then the fight started....





DING DING DING



Break it UP !!




WOW , Well Guys This Round is awarded to the Ladies By Unanimous Vote , The Husbands are reeling and it may be a close battle for Round 3

Stop In Soon For

ROUND 3 Of:

AND THEN THE FIGHT STARTED !!!

Would someone get that man a ice pack and clean up this mess , sheesh she killed him that time !

AND THEN THE FIGHT STARTED

I have run across some doozies , and after being married for a couple hundred years i believe these are QUITE appropriate !

In This Corner We Have Weighing In At Over 200Lbs THE HUSBANDS

And In The Other Corner We Have Weighing In At 100 Lbs ( Snicker ) THE WIVES

Ok I want A Clean Fight , No Gouging , Kicking , Cussing , Or Throwing Stuff !!

And Leave The Inlaws Outa the Fight !!

DING DING DING


Please enjoy : ROUND 1 Of



" And Then The Fight Started "




My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels. She
asked, 'What's on TV?'
I said, 'Dust.'

And then the fight started...

******************************************

My wife and I are watching "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" while we were
in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"
"No," she answered.
I then said, "Is that your final answer?"
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, "Yes."
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

And then the fight started....

*** ***************************************

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed
the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to
the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The
wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the
radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into
bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation,
and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."

My loving wife of 10 years replied, "Can you believe my stupid husband
is out fishing in that?"

And then the fight started...


DING DING DING

End Of Round 1 :

And we have to award this round to THE HUSBANDS

Stop back in we will be bringing on ROUND 2 as soon as our Fight.... errrrrrrrrr ........Married Couple catch their breath !

If You Have Had Any In YOUR Marriage You Would Like To Share , Please Feel Free To Leave A Comment !!

Its All In Good Fun !

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCMENT !!

DC ALERT


The Center for Disease Control has issued a medical alert about a highly contagious, potentially dangerous virus that is transmitted orally, by hand, and even electronically.

This virus is called :

Weekly Overload Recreational Killer (WORK).

If you receive WORK from your boss, any of your colleagues or anyone else via any means whatsoever - DO NOT TOUCH IT.

This virus will wipe out your private life completely. If you should come into contact with WORK you should immediately leave the premises.

Take two good friends to the nearest grocery store and purchase one or both of the antidotes :

Work Isolating Neutralizer Extract (WINE)

and

Bothersome Employer Elimination Rebooter (BEER).

Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system.

You should immediately forward this medical alert to five friends.

If you do not have five friends, you have already been infected and WORK is controlling your life.

Little Known " Important " Facts UHH HUHH

Some interesting TidBits that most of us cannot live without knowing !


( 1 ) In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes.
When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer
to sleep on. Hence the phrase.......... 'goodnight, sleep tight..'

( 2 ) It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month
after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all
the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calender
was lunar based, this period was called the honey month, which we know
today as the "honeymoon. "

( 3 ) In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts... So in old England ,
when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them 'Mind your
pints and quarts, and settle down.'
It's where we get the phrase 'mind your P's and Q's'

( 4 ) Many years ago in England , pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the
rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they
used the whistle to get some service.. 'Wet your whistle' is the phrase
inspired by this practice.

( 5 ) In the 1400's a law was set forth in England that a man was allowed to
beat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb. Hence we have
'the rule of thumb'

( 6 ) Many years ago in Scotland , a new game was invented. It was ruled
'Gentlemen Only....Ladies Forbidden'...and thus the word GOLF entered into
the English language

SEE Dont You FEEL Smarter already !

And Remember The Motto For Today Is !

Take Life On Like A DOG , If Ya Cant Eat It , Fight It , Or Bury It . Then Sniff It , Pee On It .... And Walk Away !!