A small town farm Grandma named Annabelle Smith was summoned for jury duty one summer to hear a case about alleged misconduct from a local hooligan . As she sat in the court room waiting her turn to be asked several questions by the Defense Lawyer and the Prosecution , she watched with glee the proceedings having never been in the court room before .
After a bit the court Called Mrs Annabelle Smith to the stand , she gleefully walked up to the podium and sat down waiting the questions.
The first was the Defense lawyer . As he walked up he smiled ever so kindly and decided to start easy . He asked her a simple question . ........ Ma am ....... being ever the gentleman ......... Do you know me he asked .
Mrs Annabell looked at him and said . ......................... Yes I do Timothy , Ive known you since you were a little rotten kid busting windows all over town . Everyone knows you cheated your way through school and probably law school as well . You have been married twice , cheated on both women , have several children from women NOT living in this town . Your a cheat and a shyster and I wouldn't have anything to do with you if i hadn't been called here today !!
At this point the Reporters Cameras are Flashing hard and the notes are being scribbled fast.
The defense lawyer taken aback .....looked at her and the judge shocked . I..I...I .. have no further questions. And he promptly sat down.
The Prosecution was grinning from ear to ear as he stood up.
Walking up , He asked , My I call you Mrs Annabelle ? She nodded . He Looked at the defense lawyer , back at Mrs Annabelle and asked .
Do You Know the defendant ? ...................... Looking over at him she said yes , His name is Terry , he has been a hooligan all his life and I am utterly surprised that he has lived as long as he has . Everyone knows he deals drugs , Drinks , and runs around . He steals and has brought a disgrace to the town !
The Prosecutor , looking rather smug at this point , now ask ............... Mrs Annabelle , do You know me ?
Mrs Annabelle looks at him hard and says ............. Yes Young man , I know you well . Its your wife that Timothy the defense Lawyer had an affair with . Maybe if you had been in town taking care of your kids instead of spending all your money at the Gambling boat , she wouldn't have felt the need to cheat . Your a disgrace to your profession . You have lied and cheated your way to get elected to the town council . You take bribes to decide who to prosecute . You have been seen around town with one of the city's Lady's of the evening and THEN have the GAUL to sit on the front pew at church all high and mighty ! Yes young man I know you well !!
Again The Reporters Cameras Flash , and more Notes are written at breakneck speed !
The Prosecutor , standing there with a shocked look on his face , didn't hear the judge call him at first . The Judge clears his throat and calls again ! ......................... I WANT BOTH OF YOU LAWYERS IN FRONT OF MY BENCH NOW .
The defense and prosecutor walk meekly over to the judge , he glares down at them hard .
In whispered tones , so the court and the reporters wont hear he makes a simple statement .
" Gentlemen , you will excuse Mrs Annabelle Smith from being a juror without prejudice "instantly".......... before one of you FOOLS has a chance to ask her if she knows ME !!
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Friday, April 23, 2010
HighSchool Senior Picture
I was looking through the High school Yearbook Recently . I came across this senior picture of a person we all know and love . Needless to say she has mellowed with age . However its easy to see why her MAN keeps her " On the Farm "
Anyone wanna hazard a Guess Who ??
Anyone wanna hazard a Guess Who ??
OK Now Only 1 Guess per person .
( hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehhe)
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Products I would REALLY Like to see !!
Below are several products I would really enjoy seeing as available on store shelves OR to come with a product when purchased !
These are NOT my original ideas , but have been gleaned from Various areas of the world !
Read and Enjoy ! I SURE DID !
The First Item I would Need Several To Help My Day . Hmmm wonder if they come for dogs TO ?
And Last but CERTAINLY NOT least .
In The Favor of TRUTH in ADVERTISING LAWS , I believe the following should be posted in a inconspicuous area , maybe the tookis region for a mans welfare and Happiness in Life !!
OK OK ILL LEAVE NOW !!
These are NOT my original ideas , but have been gleaned from Various areas of the world !
Read and Enjoy ! I SURE DID !
The First Item I would Need Several To Help My Day . Hmmm wonder if they come for dogs TO ?
HEHEHE ! STILL HERE ? OK Here Goes .
Hmmmmmmmmmm OHHHHH SASSY MILK MAID !! Maybe if she drinks this she remember to say hello ROFLMAO !
I like This One !
Maybe Would Help Willow Witch Deal with Troublesome People ? Ummmmmmmm Just a Thunk . lolol Actually I coulda used these SEVERAL times !
And Last but CERTAINLY NOT least .
In The Favor of TRUTH in ADVERTISING LAWS , I believe the following should be posted in a inconspicuous area , maybe the tookis region for a mans welfare and Happiness in Life !!
OK OK ILL LEAVE NOW !!
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
UMMMMMMM DUHHHHHHHHHH
OK I am gonna vent a little here and I KNOW someone isn't gonna agree , but I DON'T CARE !
OK So Toyota is having troubles with their cars accelerator system . It seems that they just take off and wont slow down. OK THIS NEEDS FIXED !! And I guess there are some fatalities that have taken place due to this and THAT is UNACCEPTABLE . I don't want ANYONE to think or feel I'm making light of the situation , I'm not .
This is extremely serious .
HOWEVER , Part of the problem is that PEOPLE in general have gotten to the point that all they know about their vehicles is , GAS / BRAKE / And POINT where ya wanna go !
And that is a MAJOR problem .
Here is my Point , I read about a person going down road and its running at high rate of speed and wont slow down. The cop pulls up beside him and yells pull emergency brake and put foot on brake at same time . Thereby burning up the brakes in mean time !
NOW , did it ever cross any ones mind to just " PUT IT IN NEUTRAL" !!!
WELLLLLLLL DUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !!
Even a blown engine is better than wrecking , so you put in neutral and wait till it stops then turn off ignition !
The point is people DON'T know there cars and therefore PANIC . And PART of the reason is because in the Schools have decided that Sports are more important than shop class !
As A Kid Growing up , I could change my oil , change a tire , and various other basic things by 15 . By the time I graduated from High school I had been through a shop class and had COMPLETELY REBUILT AN ENGINE ! But Hey I'm old school I guess .
Guess my point is that there is a whole world of things people NEED to know about driving not just point and drive . LEARN about the potentially deadly thing your setting in !
Parents , MAKE YOUR KIDS LEARN TO ! Go With Them , THAT QUALITY time could just save YOUR and THEIR Lives !
So do me a favor people , If all you wanna do is , Gas / Brake / Point . Please don't point it at me !
Don't Like My Opinion ? I Don't Care , Its My SandBox I'll Pee In It If I Want To !!
OK So Toyota is having troubles with their cars accelerator system . It seems that they just take off and wont slow down. OK THIS NEEDS FIXED !! And I guess there are some fatalities that have taken place due to this and THAT is UNACCEPTABLE . I don't want ANYONE to think or feel I'm making light of the situation , I'm not .
This is extremely serious .
HOWEVER , Part of the problem is that PEOPLE in general have gotten to the point that all they know about their vehicles is , GAS / BRAKE / And POINT where ya wanna go !
And that is a MAJOR problem .
Here is my Point , I read about a person going down road and its running at high rate of speed and wont slow down. The cop pulls up beside him and yells pull emergency brake and put foot on brake at same time . Thereby burning up the brakes in mean time !
NOW , did it ever cross any ones mind to just " PUT IT IN NEUTRAL" !!!
WELLLLLLLL DUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !!
Even a blown engine is better than wrecking , so you put in neutral and wait till it stops then turn off ignition !
The point is people DON'T know there cars and therefore PANIC . And PART of the reason is because in the Schools have decided that Sports are more important than shop class !
As A Kid Growing up , I could change my oil , change a tire , and various other basic things by 15 . By the time I graduated from High school I had been through a shop class and had COMPLETELY REBUILT AN ENGINE ! But Hey I'm old school I guess .
Guess my point is that there is a whole world of things people NEED to know about driving not just point and drive . LEARN about the potentially deadly thing your setting in !
Parents , MAKE YOUR KIDS LEARN TO ! Go With Them , THAT QUALITY time could just save YOUR and THEIR Lives !
So do me a favor people , If all you wanna do is , Gas / Brake / Point . Please don't point it at me !
Don't Like My Opinion ? I Don't Care , Its My SandBox I'll Pee In It If I Want To !!
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Lets Talk Olympics !
I have been watching some of the Olympic Coverage , as most have . There are several areas that I really enjoy and several areas that really frost my shorts !
First of all I would like to express my sadness in the loss of an athlete in such a manner . No one should be put into a position that they are facing such danger to compete in a sport . Several people have been injured in these games , some serious some not so much. However its my feeling that the Olympic committee should be addressing the safety of such sports BEFORE the people are put into that situation.
Secondly , I am of the opinion that the Committee is TO concerned about the overall thought of how does the athletes behavior reflect on the games . So the Canadian women smoke Cigars !! Big Hairy Flipping deal !! Get over it ! BE A LITTLE MORE CONCERNED WITH POINT #1
Third, I have always been against the idea of professionals being part of the Olympics . There used to be a time when the AMATURE'S were the ones who represented their respective homes . And Guess What FEWER PEOPLE GOT KILLED AND HURT !! Do you know why ?
Because they didn't have to push the boundaries of safety and make it faster and harder.
( SEE POINT # 1 )
Fourth , Lets have more " Games Oriented " Olympics . They have become much like the Professional games we see all the time . I wanna see the athletes Playing Not listen to all the Commentators explaining to me what I just saw ! I'M NOT AN IDIOT ! I SAW IT ! I DON'T NEED YOUR EXPLANATION !! Which takes us back to point #2. IF the athletes mess up , less will be thought about it if YOU NEWS PEOPLE SHUT UP AND DON'T TALK ABOUT IT ! That way maybe the committee can focus more on the REAL concerns !
I don't want people to think I'm am against the Olympics , I love watching the games . Some of the best performances Ive ever seen have taken place . That's just the point , that's what we want to see . There are SOOOOOOOO many excellent athletes that compete and do a wonderful job of representation , lets focus on that and leave the other stuff out.
Make a concerted effort to make sure that ANYTHING we see is the GOOD stuff , Positive .
My hats off to all the competitors , win or lose they have done their best and have been able to represent their homes . THAT is winning ! And I believe that they ALL should be able to take home a trophy for their efforts ! Maybe a ring that shows there involvement !
All in all I have been VERY pleased with what Ive seen , the abilities of these people is just awesome . ALL should be applauded and praised for their ability and effort !
WE AT THE COFFEE SHOP SALUTE YOU !
First of all I would like to express my sadness in the loss of an athlete in such a manner . No one should be put into a position that they are facing such danger to compete in a sport . Several people have been injured in these games , some serious some not so much. However its my feeling that the Olympic committee should be addressing the safety of such sports BEFORE the people are put into that situation.
Secondly , I am of the opinion that the Committee is TO concerned about the overall thought of how does the athletes behavior reflect on the games . So the Canadian women smoke Cigars !! Big Hairy Flipping deal !! Get over it ! BE A LITTLE MORE CONCERNED WITH POINT #1
Third, I have always been against the idea of professionals being part of the Olympics . There used to be a time when the AMATURE'S were the ones who represented their respective homes . And Guess What FEWER PEOPLE GOT KILLED AND HURT !! Do you know why ?
Because they didn't have to push the boundaries of safety and make it faster and harder.
( SEE POINT # 1 )
Fourth , Lets have more " Games Oriented " Olympics . They have become much like the Professional games we see all the time . I wanna see the athletes Playing Not listen to all the Commentators explaining to me what I just saw ! I'M NOT AN IDIOT ! I SAW IT ! I DON'T NEED YOUR EXPLANATION !! Which takes us back to point #2. IF the athletes mess up , less will be thought about it if YOU NEWS PEOPLE SHUT UP AND DON'T TALK ABOUT IT ! That way maybe the committee can focus more on the REAL concerns !
I don't want people to think I'm am against the Olympics , I love watching the games . Some of the best performances Ive ever seen have taken place . That's just the point , that's what we want to see . There are SOOOOOOOO many excellent athletes that compete and do a wonderful job of representation , lets focus on that and leave the other stuff out.
Make a concerted effort to make sure that ANYTHING we see is the GOOD stuff , Positive .
My hats off to all the competitors , win or lose they have done their best and have been able to represent their homes . THAT is winning ! And I believe that they ALL should be able to take home a trophy for their efforts ! Maybe a ring that shows there involvement !
All in all I have been VERY pleased with what Ive seen , the abilities of these people is just awesome . ALL should be applauded and praised for their ability and effort !
WE AT THE COFFEE SHOP SALUTE YOU !
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Budweiser Offers NEW Diet Beer !!!
The CoffeeMan Can Officially Die A Happy Man . His Wildest Dreams Have Been Realized . Right Along With The Epic Inventions Of The Thong And Viagra !!
The Beer making Rulers Of The World Have seen It In There Infinite Wisdom To Make A Beer Especially For Guys Like Me !
I Think I Have Bro-mance Going Here .
*wipes tear from my eye *
This Is A day To Be Remembered Into The Vastness Of the History Books :
Read About It here !
With mountains of deep-fried chicken wings and enough guacamole to turn you green, the Super Bowl is the day when diets die a cholesterol-choked death.
But while your waist may balloon, who says you need to sport a matching beer belly too? This week marks the release of Anheuser-Busch's Select 55, a light beer that's barely more caloric -- and flavorful -- than water.
Clocking in at a slender 55 calories and 1.9 grams of carb's per 12-ounce bottle, Select is the self-professed "world's lightest beer," a statement that's as enticing as "the world's tastiest rice cake."
WELL FOLKS !! The Week has turned around and the sky is blue the birds are chirping and the Coffeemans Life has become worth Living .
Seeeeeeeeeeeeee Ya at the Beer barn !!
The Beer making Rulers Of The World Have seen It In There Infinite Wisdom To Make A Beer Especially For Guys Like Me !
I Think I Have Bro-mance Going Here .
*wipes tear from my eye *
This Is A day To Be Remembered Into The Vastness Of the History Books :
Read About It here !
With mountains of deep-fried chicken wings and enough guacamole to turn you green, the Super Bowl is the day when diets die a cholesterol-choked death.
But while your waist may balloon, who says you need to sport a matching beer belly too? This week marks the release of Anheuser-Busch's Select 55, a light beer that's barely more caloric -- and flavorful -- than water.
Clocking in at a slender 55 calories and 1.9 grams of carb's per 12-ounce bottle, Select is the self-professed "world's lightest beer," a statement that's as enticing as "the world's tastiest rice cake."
WELL FOLKS !! The Week has turned around and the sky is blue the birds are chirping and the Coffeemans Life has become worth Living .
Seeeeeeeeeeeeee Ya at the Beer barn !!
Friday, January 15, 2010
Farm Kid Joins Marines !!
Dear Ma and Pa,
I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before all of the places are filled.
I was restless at first because you get to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m. But I am getting so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot, and shine some things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay. Practically nothing.
Men got to shave but it is not so bad, there's warm water. Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie and other regular food, but tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit by the two city boys that live on coffee. Their food, plus yours, holds you until noon when you get fed again. It's no wonder these city boys can't walk much.
We go on 'route marches,' which the platoon sergeant says are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it's not my place to tell him different. A 'route march' is about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys get sore feet and we all ride back in trucks.
The sergeant is like a school teacher. He nags a lot. The Captain is like the school board. Majors and colonels just ride around and frown. They don't bother you none.
This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing. I keep getting medals for shooting. I don't know why.. The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk head and don't move, and it ain't shooting at you like the Higgett boys at home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it. You don't even load your own cartridges They come in boxes.
Then we have what they call hand-to-hand combat training. You get to wrestle with them city boys. I have to be real careful though, they break real easy. It ain't like trying to castrate them young bulls at home. I'm about the best they got in this except for that Tug Jordan from over in Silver Lake . I only beat him once... He joined up the same time as me, but I'm only 5'6' and 130 pounds and he's 6' 6" and near 300 pounds dry.
Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join before other fellers get onto this setup and come stampeding in.
Your loving daughter,
Heidi Anne
I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before all of the places are filled.
I was restless at first because you get to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m. But I am getting so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot, and shine some things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay. Practically nothing.
Men got to shave but it is not so bad, there's warm water. Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie and other regular food, but tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit by the two city boys that live on coffee. Their food, plus yours, holds you until noon when you get fed again. It's no wonder these city boys can't walk much.
We go on 'route marches,' which the platoon sergeant says are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it's not my place to tell him different. A 'route march' is about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys get sore feet and we all ride back in trucks.
The sergeant is like a school teacher. He nags a lot. The Captain is like the school board. Majors and colonels just ride around and frown. They don't bother you none.
This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing. I keep getting medals for shooting. I don't know why.. The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk head and don't move, and it ain't shooting at you like the Higgett boys at home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it. You don't even load your own cartridges They come in boxes.
Then we have what they call hand-to-hand combat training. You get to wrestle with them city boys. I have to be real careful though, they break real easy. It ain't like trying to castrate them young bulls at home. I'm about the best they got in this except for that Tug Jordan from over in Silver Lake . I only beat him once... He joined up the same time as me, but I'm only 5'6' and 130 pounds and he's 6' 6" and near 300 pounds dry.
Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join before other fellers get onto this setup and come stampeding in.
Your loving daughter,
Heidi Anne
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
