THE COFFEE SHOP

" HERE'S YOUR SIGN " !!

2012-02-10T08:29:00.001-08:00

I couldn't help but comment on this issue . The complete article can be found here .

QUOTE:

A case study of two men who were poisoned and turned blue after ingesting what they thought was a recreational drug that they had bought on the Internet highlights the dangers of such purchases, a new report claims.
The case study appears in the Feb. 10 issue of the Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report, which is published by the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
The term "research chemicals" is a phrase used to illegally sell stimulants on the Internet, to avoid regulations that ban their use, the report authors said.
The authors described the case of two Oregon men who believed they had bought the designer amphetamine derivative 2C-E online. But the product they actually received was aniline, a highly toxic industrial chemical.

OK , Now I have been bored , and I have been Bored and out of beer ! But I have NEVER been so bored , out of beer and STUPID enough to buy drugs Online . Really ? Are people really that Stupid ? HOW Could you POSSIBLY know whats in what your buying ?? Its bad enough the stuff we find that's in drugs that ARE REGULATED . And we are so naive as to believe that the person online is trustworthy and honest ?

Well for all you people who are dumb enough to do that ! " Here's your sign " !

Don't like my Opinion ? I don't Care !! Its My sandbox And I will pee in it if I want to !

Hello My Name Peggy !

2012-01-27T12:49:00.000-08:00

Sound Familiar ? I want to rant a few minutes about the problem that is obvious to everyone EXCEPT the company's that are to freekin cheap to do anything about this issue .

I recently spent a Butt load of money putting in a server and several new computers for the company I purchased them through a well known brand ..... Computers .

With me so far?.... Good ... Now I need customer service and what happens , I dial the number and am put in contact with ...... You got it " Peggy " In south America or , east china , or who knows where that can barely speak English . I wanted to buy another computer on my business credit so off we go .

The next day I received a notice That my NEW account had been established .... huh ? I didn't need a new account I needed another computer ! Back on the phone to another " Peggy " in some other foreign country that had NOOOOO idea what was going on trying to fix a problem created by her twin Peggy in south America or east china or who knows where else .

We walked through the problem and I said OK , Good done . The next day I got a notice that the account had been closed and my order canceled ?? WHAT I NEED THE ORDER !

BACK ON THE PHONE AGAIN WITH yep ........... PEGGY the triplet I guess , in another area of southern Mongolia who had NO idea what her sisters had done ! By this point I was rather livid . Making sure that Peggy # 3 New It wasn't her I was mad at I demanded a supervisor , would you believe it the supervisor was in a completely different country ! HOW does THAT work??

Well we went through the whole freekin circus AGAIN . When it was all over I was shipped my order next day air No charge for shipping . I did receive the product.

Wheeeeeewwwwww

I have a suggestion for all you people out there that have Phone customer service reps .

THEY SHOULD BE FROM THE COUNTRY THAT THE CALLER IS FROM !! OR IS THAT TO HARD FOR YOU TO GRASP ?

If I am calling from the USA I should REACH someone in the USA
If I am calling from South America I should reach someone in South America
If I am calling from Mongolia , I should reach someone ......... Well you get the point !

Or DO YOU ?

There should be a law !

How Old Are YOU ? Remember when ?

2012-01-11T08:14:00.000-08:00

This was sent to me and Its a bit scary cause It fits my life pretty darn close . I was amazed at the age after I read this ........ You may be too !

Stay with this -- the answer is at the end. It will blow you away.

One evening a grandson was talking to his grandmother about current events. The grandson
asked his grandmother what she thought about the shootings at schools, the computer age, and
just things in general..

The Grandmother replied, "Well, let me think a minute, I was born before:

' television
' penicillin
' polio shots
' frozen foods
' Xerox
' contact lenses
' Frisbees and
' the pill

There were no:
' credit cards
' laser beams
' ball-point pens

Man had not invented:
' pantyhose
' air conditioners
' dishwashers
' clothes dryers
' and the clothes were hung out to dry in the fresh air and
' man hadn't yet walked on the moon

Your Grandfather and I got married first, .. ...and then lived together..

Every family had a father and a mother.

Until I was 25, I called every man older than me, "Sir".

And after I turned 25, I still called policemen and every man with a title, "Sir."

We were before gay-rights, computer- dating, dual careers, daycare
centers, and group therapy.

Our lives were governed by the Ten Commandments, good judgment, and
common sense.

We were taught to know the difference between right and wrong and to
stand up and take responsibility for our actions.

Serving your country was a privilege; living in this country was a bigger privilege...

We thought fast food was what people ate during Lent.

Having a meaningful relationship meant getting along with your cousins.

Draft dodgers were those who closed front doors as the evening breeze started.

Time-sharing meant time the family spent together in the evenings and
weekends-not purchasing condominiums.

We never heard of FM radios, tape decks, CDs, electric typewriters, yogurt,
or guys wearing earrings.

We listened to Big Bands, Jack Benny, and the President's speeches on our radios.

And I don't ever remember any kid blowing his brains out listening to Tommy Dorsey.

If you saw anything with 'Made in Japan ' on it, it was junk

The term 'making out' referred to how you did on your school exam....

Pizza Hut, McDonald's, and instant coffee were unheard of.

We had 5 &10-cent stores where you could actually buy things for 5 and 10 cents.

Ice-cream cones, phone calls, rides on a streetcar, and a Pepsi were all a nickel.

And if you didn't want to splurge, you could spend your nickel on enough stamps
to mail 1 letter and 2 postcards.

You could buy a new Chevy Coupe for $600, . .. . but who could afford one?

Too bad, because gas was 11 cents a gallon.

In my day:
' "grass" was mowed,
' "coke" was a cold drink,
' "pot" was something your mother cooked in and
' "rock music" was your grandmother's lullaby.
' "Aids" were helpers in the Principal's office,
' " chip" meant a piece of wood,
' "hardware" was found in a hardware store and
' "software" wasn't even a word.

And we were the last generation to actually believe that a lady needed a husband
to have a baby.

No wonder people call us "old and confused" and say there is a generation gap.

How old do you think I am?

I bet you have this old lady in mind....you are in for a shock!

Read on to see -- pretty scary if you think about it and pretty sad at the same time.

Are you ready ????? SCROLL DOWN

This woman would be only 59 years old.

GIVES YOU SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT..

Kids can Be Sooooooooo Funny huh !

2011-11-02T07:12:00.001-07:00

Our sweet loving wonderfull daughter brought this to The Candle Lady and I last Night with a Note attached!

The Note Said :

Mom And Dad , I Feel SOOOOO SPECIAL ! SOOOOOO VERY SPECIAL !

Kids huh .......... The lil stinker !

Wellllllll Its a Legit Question !

2011-10-05T08:46:00.000-07:00

Hey Baby !!!

Does This Basket Make My BUTT Look BIG ?

Speel Cheqer

2011-09-29T12:18:00.000-07:00

Eye halve a speeling chequer.
It came with my pea sea.
It plainly marques four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.
Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write
It shows me strait a weigh.

As soon as a mist ache is maid
I nose bee fore two long
And eye can put the error rite
Its rare lea ever wrong.

Eye have run this poem threw it.
I am shore your pleased two no
Its letter perfekt awl the way
My chequer told me sew.

Had to share this one !!

Now I gotta go Potty !

REALLYYYY ?????

2011-08-25T12:10:00.000-07:00

Jeremy Hill of Idaho is facing a trial, after he shot and killed a grizzly bear that came into his yard.

Hill claims that he came into the yard where his children were playing to find three grizzly bears had entered the property. He shot one of the bears, killing it and scaring the others away.

Hill reported the incident to the state authorities, who did not express concern. But federal authorities have charged Hill with killing an endangered species.

The case has stoked passions has attracted many supporters, including Idaho's republican governor Butch Otter. If convicted, Hill could face a year in prison or a $50,000 fine.

Hill's trial is scheduled to begin on October 4th.

If A offending animal kills someone , after that happens they will go hunt it down and kill it so it doesnt kill again ! BUTTTTT GODDD FORBIDD that a parent kills it to SAVE that life !!

REALLY ??? Is the Government that Daft ?? I would have dropped that bear in a heart beat as well . SHEEESSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHH !!!

YOUR TAX DOLLARS HARD AT WORK !!!!!!!

Please See My Other Blog

2011-07-01T09:58:00.000-07:00

I have come to the conclusion that with all the stuff going on around here I just don't have time for all the blogging I would LIKE to do . So I am going to basically stop updating this one and go with what I enjoy the Best .

So for the foreseeable future please stop in at :

WWW.WIKSNWUDWERKS.BLOGSPOT.COM

I do appreciate all the comments and time people have spent here . I am going to close the chat box and HOPE that the sassy Milk Maid will stop by and leave a chat over there.

Please stop by and say hello . If I am on your Blog Roll please change it to the above Blog.

THANKS

CoffeeMan

Welcome to My Little Home Town

2011-05-03T09:50:00.000-07:00

Welcome To Carmi , Illinois . What your looking at here is as of Sunday now Closed for traffic . The water reached approx 24" deep shortly after these pics were taken . To get to the restaurant across town , 1 mile away from my house requires a 20 mile drive sooooooooooooooooooooooooo we are not eating out LOL

As you look at the picture below , you can see a building behind the gas pumps . It as of Monday morning has 17" of water inside .

Town is accessible from the south only . The picture below shows one end of a road as it comes into town . The picture below this one is the other end of the road approx 13 miles away .

The other end of the road pictured below is a road that is Built on a raised road bed , kinda like a dam . Its approx 12 feet above the fields , As you can see its about 3 feet over the road that makes the corn field approx 15 feet deep with water at this point .

YES that is corn fields NOT a lake .

There is sooooooooo much water , the field has waves LOL

As I look at these pictures and think about all that we have here , I am grateful that we were spared what many south of us in Tennessee Alabama Kentucky and other places got . I can live with a little water .

Back When GREEN was Really GREEN !

2011-04-19T18:14:00.000-07:00

In the line at the store, the cashier told the older woman that plastic bags weren't good for the environment. The woman apologized to her as the young clerk said "That's okay, you didn't have the 'green thing' back in your day."

That's right, they didn't have the green thing in her day. Back then, they returned their milk bottles, coke bottles and beer bottles to the store. The store sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilized and refilled, using the same bottles over and over. So they really were recycled.

But they didn't have the green thing back in her day.

In her day, they walked up stairs, because they didn't have an escalator in every store and office building. They walked to the grocery store and didn't climb into a 300-horsepower machine every time they had to go two blocks.

But she's right. They didn't have the green thing in her day.

Back then, they washed the baby's diapers because they didn't have the throw-away kind. They dried clothes on a line, not in an energy gobbling machine burning up 220 volts . Wind and solar power really did dry the clothes. Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand new clothing.

But that lady is right, they didn't have the green thing back in her day.

Back then, they had one TV, or radio, in the house - not a TV in every room. And the TV had a small screen the size of a pizza dish, not a screen the size of the state of Montana .
In the kitchen, they blended and stirred by hand because they didn't have electric machines to do everything for you. When they packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, they used wadded up newspaper to cushion it, not styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap.

Back then, they didn't fire up an engine and burn gasoline just to cut the lawn. They used a push mower that ran on human power. They exercised by working so they didn't need to go to a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity.

But she's right, they didn't have the green thing back then.

They drank from a fountain when they were thirsty, instead of using a cup or a plastic bottle every time they had a drink of water. They refilled pens with ink, instead of buying a new pen, and they replaced the razor blades in a razor instead of throwing away the whole razor just because the blade got dull.

But they didn't have the green thing back then.

Back then, kids rode their bikes to school or rode the school bus, instead of turning their moms into a 24-hour taxi service. They had one electrical outlet in a room, not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances. And they didn't need a computerized gadget to receive a signal beamed from satellites 2,000 miles out in space in order to find the nearest pizza joint.

But they didn't have the green thing back then!

People Can Be Absolutely Disgusting !!

2011-04-11T05:58:00.000-07:00

I am appalled at how people act some times . Has the world gotten so lazy that they CANNOT care for basic Hygiene ? People are Disgusting to say the least ! OK why am I up on the soap box today you ask ? Ill tell you . Be ready to be grossed out . As you know the world around us has in many ways gotten very lazy. I see people going to the store in Pj's or with a 3 day "NO BATH " cloud hanging over them . This kind of stuff seems to be more common and its due to Simple Laziness ! What happened this weekend was wayyyyy beyond that as far as I'm concerned . I am sure it happens more than I care to know , but that's the point ! " I DON'T SEE IT " OK here goes . I was in a large chain restaurant this weekend with the Candle lady and T , we had taken her parents out to dinner. I wont mention the name of the restaurant over this incident , suffice it to say there is one in your neighborhood as well most likely. After a pleasant meal and good conversation . I needed to use the restroom . So I excused my self and walked merrily toward the men's room , still enjoying the smell of good food and tasty treats. I entered the afore mentioned room and it was clean and tidy and nicely done . There were two other people in the room and one was washing his hands . I was glad to see this as it is a pet peeve of mine. I stood facing the wall and taking care of business , looking straight ahead , cause as all me know looking sideways can get ya slugged "lol" . Anyway as I finished my relief effort and walked over to wash I realized that the stall was occupied as well. I washed thoroughly and was in the process of drying my hands with a paper towel when an elderly individual walked out of the stall and STRAIGHT OUT THE DOOR ! I stood there looking at the handle that I was now being forced to use to open the door with utter disgust . I reached and got extra paper towels to use in my exit strategy to free myself from this Lazy persons stupidity , getting rather perterbed at peoples in-ability to use common sense and WASH ! I was rather miffed I might add , but was yet to realize the extent of the persons stupidity ! I extracted myself from the room and walked out quickly finding a trash bin for the papertowel I held and waked back toward the table . As I rounded the corner the Full weight of this mans STUPIDITY AND LAZINESS set in and I was totally disgusted at how someone could be so ...so....so.... I cant think of a proper term that states how Low I feel this man is . As I rounded the corner and looked up he was standing in the exit , by the cashier and pawing through ....... The TOOTHPICKS !! I wanted to slug him !! I have never been so disgusted in my life !! Have we gotten so freaking lazy we not only don't care about us, but we don't care about people around us ? I stood there looking daggers at the man . He looked at me and walked away . I must have Had a rather strange look on my face , cause the cashier looked and ask if I was ok . So in a loud enough voice to be heard by the offending Jackwagon I said . THAT DISGUSTING OLD MAN JUST PAWED THROUGH THE TOOTHPICKS AFTER TAKING A DUMP AND DIDN'T WASH HIS HANDS !! In the restaurants defence I will say she quickly took the item off the counter . What happened next was the icing on the cake , the old man looked back and waved and walked out !! I was floored ! I can promise you this , I will NEVER use a restaurant Toothpick again ! FOR GODS SAKE PEOPLE ! WASH YOUR %*^&$@$ HANDS !!!!

HAVE YOU SEEN ME !!

2011-03-30T06:08:00.001-07:00

Have You Seen This Lady !!

Last seen January 29Th 2011 On her Blog discussing her child's broken leg .

This picture is about 3 yrs old however , Reliable sources say she looks like this AGAIN !!

( note: woman in picture may be larger than appears ! )

If you see this woman , DO NOT approach , She is PREGNANT and and HUNGRY !!

She has been known to smell a Snickers Bar at a mile away

Could be in the accompaniment of several other people .

One of her known accomplices is known to lisp !

Has been known to frequent the kitchen and make heaps of breakfast .

Should you see her call 1-700- post again ! ASK for the Milkman !

Words Of Wisdom From The Candle Lady

2011-03-20T07:26:00.000-07:00

He said to me . ... . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it
I said to him .... . . You wear pants don't you?

He said to me ... . .......... Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
I said . That's a good idea - you stand by the stove & sink while I sit on the sofa and do nothing but fart

He said to me.. ... What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
I said to him .. ..... Turn sideways and look in the mirror!

He said to me. ...... Why don't women blink during foreplay?
I said to him .. . They don't have time.

He said to me. . How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
I said to him .. .. I don't know; it has never happened.

He said to me. . Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and Good- looking?
I said to him . . .. They already have boyfriends.

He said.....What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
I said. . . A widow.

He said to me.... Why are married women heavier than single women?
I said to him .. . . Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed.

Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.

WHAAATTT !!!

2011-03-17T07:18:00.000-07:00

Click The Link For the story and Link .

Begin Quote

Rush Limbaugh laughed about Japanese refugees recycling after the earthquake that struck the country on his Tuesday show.

A caller asked Limbaugh, "If these are the people that invented the Prius, have mastered public transportation, recycling, why did Mother Earth, Gaia if you will, hit them with this disaster?"

Limbaugh called this an "interesting question," and played a clip of ABC's Diane Sawyer reporting from a shelter in Japan. In the clip, Sawyer is surprised that the refugees in the shelter have maintained a recycling program. Limbaugh first mocked Sawyer, doing an impression of her and saying that "she sounds like she saw her husband for the first time in six months." He then turned to his caller's question.

"He's right," Limbaugh said. "They've given us the Prius. Even now, refugees are recycling their garbage." Here, he began to laugh, continuing, "and yet, Gaia levels them! Just wipes them out!"

This angle has been something of a theme for Limbaugh; last week, he wondered if environmentalists would "cheer" the quake.

End Of Quote !

Rush , You are a Heartless blowhard and should be banned from being on radio period.

New Build Post In My Work Shop

2011-03-13T09:04:00.000-07:00

I have recently finished a new build on a " Non Musical " Item In my Wood Shop .

Took about 10 Hrs total time and all of my Hickory wood stash . You can go to
www.wiksnwudwerks.blogspot.com and have a look .

Pleas stop by and See " Ole Hik'Ry "

Price Gouging

2011-03-08T05:23:00.000-08:00

Lets discuss price gouging !

It seems that when ever there is a natural disaster , people tend to try and price gouge for items that are everyday use needs . Milk , water , bread etc: It is obvious when it happens , and in the last few years it has become a subject that the law has looked at and made illegal in the USA.

Not only is it illegal , but its immoral to treat people with such disdain and lack of care and consideration. When the people around us are hurting , why would ANYONE wish to profit from that misery is beyond me . I guess the worlds " lack of love" is a sure sign that peoples "spiritual training" in many cases is just a label .

But I wont dwell on that , the main reason I mention this today is because we see price gouging taking place right now and the government is just as much to blame as the company executives are.

Of what am I referring ? FUEL PRICES !!

The American people , well quite frankly the whole world is being " Price Gouged " with the high fuel prices . There is actually very little direct connection to the cost of a barrel of oil and the cost of a gallon of diesel or gas. Which brings me to another question , Diesel is the cheapest to make and the most expensive to buy , WHY !! PRICE GOUGING !!

If you or I were to double our prices on items of daily need we could be prosecuted , and yet the government allows it to be done daily to us and they stand ZERO responsibility in court !

The Major reason for the high diesel and gas prices is driven , NOT by the wars , NOT by the lack of fuel , NOT by the cost of a barrel of oil !

It is driven by greed ! HOW ? Quite simple actually , People are dumping money into oil stocks right now because they want to get rich off the plight of others . ( see earlier comment )
Have you put money in the stock market for oil? If yes you are PART OF THE PROBLEM !

Want prices to drop , sell your stock , make the oil companies stocks of less value and watch the prices come down . The problem is , it wont work , do you know why ?

Because we live in a dog eat dog , look out for number one , I'm a selfish jerk who deserves to be rich no matter how it affects my neighbor , world !

There is a disaster taking place RIGHT NOW ! And the world is at the hands of Price gouging , not only by the companies but by the governments they live under .

Sad to say , we are a people who talk about whats needed and complain about what is happening , but when the chips are down , most will look out for "me and mine " and that's a sad commentary for the world .

Yes we see price gouging , and no , in reality NOTHING will be done about it !

Sad isnt it !

WHOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOO

2011-02-06T08:28:00.001-08:00

!!!!!!!!!!!GO PACKERS !!!!!!!!!!

HUH ?? Turn Signal ! HUH??

2010-12-17T12:03:00.001-08:00

OK I guess I am a felon now . LOLOL I was pulled over today and given a written warning .

Kinda went like this .

"Make a right hand turn" " Look behind me and see red lights"

OK , whats up with this . I pulled over and took out my wallet and insurance card, watching people watch me as I sit there waiting for this Police Officer to walk up to my car .

He approached my car , looked me over and said " SIR do you know why I stopped you ?

Now I know we have all heard these words before , and sometimes a person has the urge to give a smart @$$ answer like " Yes , but sorry , I'm married ! " Any way I bit my tongue and said . NO I don't think I did anything wrong Officer .

Now in this fellas defence , I don't want anyone to think he was being rude , he was quite civil , he smiled and was polite enough so he wasn't being a Jackwagon .

He did then look me in the eye and said and I quote ! " You failed to use your turn signal at that last turn"

NOW I wanted to be a Smart @$$ . I guess I looked Dumbfounded . Immediately , I thought about all the murders , Bank Robbery's , Kidnappings , Meth Producers , Dirty Politicans Etc: that are going down as we speak , and we are taking 20 min out of both of our days because of a turn signal ?

I looked him in the eye and said " Your Kidding Right"? He Proudly said NOPE !

I sat there thinking of all the obvious things that I appreciate my tax monies being spent on , Positive things . And I donate several dollars to various law enforcement agencies each year .

So this isn't about anti police , I'm all for them , play golf with several . Have friends on the force !

DIDN'T USE MY TURN SIGNAL ??

OK !! He came back to my vehicle and handed me a "warning ticket " And I DO appreciate that , my 20 yr run without a ticket fine is still intact . However !

Was that REALLY A NECESSARY 20 minutes of my life ?

OK Ill get off the soapbox . And I will continue to support the local law enforcement !

Hows about we get a lil more realistic about why people are pulled over , ok?

The Turn Signal Kid Signing Off !!

New Project

2010-12-11T09:20:00.000-08:00

I have a new Project at www.wiksnwudwerks.blogspot.com Please stop in and have a looksee !

Do Bears REAAALYY Do it in The woods ?

2010-11-26T05:22:00.000-08:00

A priest, a preacher and a Rabbi walked into their favorite Coffeeshop , where they would get together two or three times a week for Coffee and Pie and to talk shop.

On this particular afternoon, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear.

One thing led to another and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it.

Seven days later, they're all together to discuss the experience.

Father Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has various bandages, goes first.
"Well," he says, "I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle a lamb. The bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation."

Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm and both legs in casts, and an IV drip. In his best fire and brimstone oratory he claimed, " WELL brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quick DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus."

They both looked down at the rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IV's and monitors running in and out of him. He was in bad shape.

The rabbi looks up and says, "Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start."

???? HUH ?????

2010-10-27T08:04:00.000-07:00

A convicted killer was put to death by injection in Arizona after the U.S. Supreme Court lifted a restraining order that questioned the safety of a foreign-made drug used in the execution.

The first of three drugs administered to Jeffrey Landrigan during the execution was sodium thiopental, a sedative that's in short supply in the U.S. because of raw material problems with its sole American manufacturer. Arizona said Tuesday it got a new supply of the drug from Britain, but Landrigan's lawyers challenged that in court because federal inspectors haven't approved any of the drug's overseas manufacturers.

UMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

I'm Not Taking sides here , this isn't about pro or con death penalty.

I'm thinking about the ludicrous statement . Arizona shouldn't use a drug to KILL someone cause it isn't proven SAFE ??

If its being used to KILL SOMEONE how would ANY drug be SAFE !!

Whats next ?? UMMMMMMMMMMMM The military cant execute by firing squad cause the Bullets arent proved SAFE ?

I'm sorry , I'm really NOT trying to make light of the situation , a man was put to death. However , under the current laws he paid for his crime .

Our Prisons are full because TO OFTEN the criminal gets to use stuff like whats above to skirt the system . I would say this time , based on current laws , it worked out RIGHT

You may not agree with my Opinion , but its my sandbox I'll pee in it if I want to

Public Service Announcment !!

2010-09-03T10:08:00.001-07:00

I didn't think twice about this tiny fellow on my baby boxwood until I got this letter:
GARDEN SNAKES CAN BE DANGEROUS...

Snakes also known as Garter Snakes (Thamnophissirtalis) can be dangerous. Yes, grass snakes, not rattlesnakes. Here's why.

A couple in Sweetwater , Texas , had a lot of potted plants. During a recent cold spell, the wife was bringing a lot of them indoors to protect them from a possible freeze.

It turned out that a little green garden grass snake was hidden in one of the plants. When it had warmed up, it slithered out and the wife saw it go under the sofa.

She let out a very loud scream.

The husband (who was taking a shower) ran out into the living room naked to see what the problem was. She told him there was a snake under the sofa.

He got down on the floor on his hands and knees to look for it. About that time the family dog came and cold-nosed him on the behind. He thought the snake had bitten him, so he screamed and fell over on the floor.

His wife thought he had had a heart attack, so she covered him up, told him to lie still and called an ambulance.

The attendants rushed in, would not listen to his protests, loaded him on the stretcher, and started carrying him out.

About that time, the snake came out from under the sofa and the Emergency Medical Technician saw it and dropped his end of the stretcher. That's when the man broke his leg and why he is still in the hospital.

The wife still had the problem of the snake in the house, so she called on a neighbor who volunteered to capture the snake. He armed himself with a rolled-up newspaper and began poking under the couch.. Soon he decided it was gone and told the woman, who sat down on the sofa in relief.

But while relaxing, her hand dangled in between the cushions, where she felt the snake wriggling around. She screamed and fainted, the snake rushed back under the sofa.

The neighbor man, seeing her lying there passed out, tried to use CPR to revive her.

The neighbor's wife, who had just returned from shopping at the grocery store, saw her husband's mouth on the woman's mouth and slammed her husband in the back of the head with a bag of canned goods, knocking him out and cutting his scalp to a point where it needed stitches.

The noise woke the woman from her dead faint and she saw her neighbor lying on the floor with his wife bending over him, so she assumed that the snake had bitten him. She went to the kitchen and got a small bottle of whiskey, and began pouring it down the man's throat.

By now, the police had arrived.
Breathe here...

They saw the unconscious man, smelled the whiskey, and assumed that a drunken fight had occurred. They were about to arrest them all, when the women tried to explain how it all happened over a little garden snake!

The police called an ambulance, which took away the neighbor and his sobbing wife.

Now, the little snake again crawled out from under the sofa and one of the policemen drew his gun and fired at it. He missed the snake and hit the leg of the end table. The table fell over, the lamp on it shattered and, as the bulb broke, it started a fire in the drapes.

The other policeman tried to beat out the flames, and fell through the window into the yard on top of the family dog who, startled, jumped out and raced into the street, where an oncoming car swerved to avoid it and smashed into the parked police car.

Meanwhile, neighbors saw the burning drapes and called in the fire department. The firemen had started raising the fire ladder when they were halfway down the street. The rising ladder tore out the overhead wires, put out the power, and disconnected the telephones in a ten-square city block area (but they did get the house fire out).

Time passed! Both men were discharged from the hospital, the house was repaired, the dog came home, the police acquired a new car and all was right with their world.

A while later they were watching TV and the weatherman announced a cold snap for that night. The wife asked her husband if he thought they should bring in their plants for the night.

And that's when he shot her.

Gotta Love This Judge

2010-07-07T08:33:00.000-07:00

I know I have said no Religion Or politics here . However this CANNOT be overlooked .

I love how this played out, maybe you will too .

Either way I felt it was worth Posting.

FLORIDA COURT SETS ATHEIST HOLY DAY

In Florida , an atheist created a case against the upcoming Easter and Passover Holy days.
He hired an attorney to bring a discrimination case against Christians and Jews and observances of their holy days.

The argument was that it was unfair that atheists had no such recognized days..

The case was brought before a judge. After listening to the passionate presentation by the lawyer, the judge banged his gavel declaring, "Case dismissed!"

The lawyer immediately stood objecting to the ruling saying, "Your honor, How can you possibly dismiss this case?

The Christians have Christmas, Easter and others. The Jews have Passover, Yom Kippur and Hanukkah, yet my client and all other atheists have no such holidays."

The judge leaned forward in his chair saying, "But you do. Your client, counsel, is woefully ignorant." The lawyer said, "Your Honor, we are unaware of any special observance or holiday for atheists." The judge said,

"The calendar says April 1st is April Fools Day.

Psalm 14:1 states, 'The fool says in his heart, there is no God.' Thus, it is the opinion of this court, that, if your client says there is no God, then he is a fool.

Therefore, April 1st is his day.

Court is adjourned."

You have to love a Judge that knows his scripture!

Carefull What You Ask A Farm Grandma !!

2010-05-26T06:04:00.000-07:00

A small town farm Grandma named Annabelle Smith was summoned for jury duty one summer to hear a case about alleged misconduct from a local hooligan . As she sat in the court room waiting her turn to be asked several questions by the Defense Lawyer and the Prosecution , she watched with glee the proceedings having never been in the court room before .

After a bit the court Called Mrs Annabelle Smith to the stand , she gleefully walked up to the podium and sat down waiting the questions.

The first was the Defense lawyer . As he walked up he smiled ever so kindly and decided to start easy . He asked her a simple question . ........ Ma am ....... being ever the gentleman ......... Do you know me he asked .

Mrs Annabell looked at him and said . ......................... Yes I do Timothy , Ive known you since you were a little rotten kid busting windows all over town . Everyone knows you cheated your way through school and probably law school as well . You have been married twice , cheated on both women , have several children from women NOT living in this town . Your a cheat and a shyster and I wouldn't have anything to do with you if i hadn't been called here today !!

At this point the Reporters Cameras are Flashing hard and the notes are being scribbled fast.

The defense lawyer taken aback .....looked at her and the judge shocked . I..I...I .. have no further questions. And he promptly sat down.

The Prosecution was grinning from ear to ear as he stood up.

Walking up , He asked , My I call you Mrs Annabelle ? She nodded . He Looked at the defense lawyer , back at Mrs Annabelle and asked .

Do You Know the defendant ? ...................... Looking over at him she said yes , His name is Terry , he has been a hooligan all his life and I am utterly surprised that he has lived as long as he has . Everyone knows he deals drugs , Drinks , and runs around . He steals and has brought a disgrace to the town !

The Prosecutor , looking rather smug at this point , now ask ............... Mrs Annabelle , do You know me ?

Mrs Annabelle looks at him hard and says ............. Yes Young man , I know you well . Its your wife that Timothy the defense Lawyer had an affair with . Maybe if you had been in town taking care of your kids instead of spending all your money at the Gambling boat , she wouldn't have felt the need to cheat . Your a disgrace to your profession . You have lied and cheated your way to get elected to the town council . You take bribes to decide who to prosecute . You have been seen around town with one of the city's Lady's of the evening and THEN have the GAUL to sit on the front pew at church all high and mighty ! Yes young man I know you well !!

Again The Reporters Cameras Flash , and more Notes are written at breakneck speed !

The Prosecutor , standing there with a shocked look on his face , didn't hear the judge call him at first . The Judge clears his throat and calls again ! ......................... I WANT BOTH OF YOU LAWYERS IN FRONT OF MY BENCH NOW .

The defense and prosecutor walk meekly over to the judge , he glares down at them hard .

In whispered tones , so the court and the reporters wont hear he makes a simple statement .

" Gentlemen , you will excuse Mrs Annabelle Smith from being a juror without prejudice "instantly".......... before one of you FOOLS has a chance to ask her if she knows ME !!

HighSchool Senior Picture

2010-04-23T14:20:00.000-07:00

I was looking through the High school Yearbook Recently . I came across this senior picture of a person we all know and love . Needless to say she has mellowed with age . However its easy to see why her MAN keeps her " On the Farm "

Anyone wanna hazard a Guess Who ??

OK Now Only 1 Guess per person .

( hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehhe)

Products I would REALLY Like to see !!

2010-03-18T12:29:00.000-07:00

Below are several products I would really enjoy seeing as available on store shelves OR to come with a product when purchased !

These are NOT my original ideas , but have been gleaned from Various areas of the world !

Read and Enjoy ! I SURE DID !

The First Item I would Need Several To Help My Day . Hmmm wonder if they come for dogs TO ?

HEHEHE ! STILL HERE ? OK Here Goes .

Hmmmmmmmmmm OHHHHH SASSY MILK MAID !! Maybe if she drinks this she remember to say hello ROFLMAO !

I like This One !

Maybe Would Help Willow Witch Deal with Troublesome People ? Ummmmmmmm Just a Thunk . lolol Actually I coulda used these SEVERAL times !

And Last but CERTAINLY NOT least .

In The Favor of TRUTH in ADVERTISING LAWS , I believe the following should be posted in a inconspicuous area , maybe the tookis region for a mans welfare and Happiness in Life !!

OK OK ILL LEAVE NOW !!

UMMMMMMM DUHHHHHHHHHH

2010-03-10T10:56:00.000-08:00

OK I am gonna vent a little here and I KNOW someone isn't gonna agree , but I DON'T CARE !

OK So Toyota is having troubles with their cars accelerator system . It seems that they just take off and wont slow down. OK THIS NEEDS FIXED !! And I guess there are some fatalities that have taken place due to this and THAT is UNACCEPTABLE . I don't want ANYONE to think or feel I'm making light of the situation , I'm not .

This is extremely serious .

HOWEVER , Part of the problem is that PEOPLE in general have gotten to the point that all they know about their vehicles is , GAS / BRAKE / And POINT where ya wanna go !

And that is a MAJOR problem .

Here is my Point , I read about a person going down road and its running at high rate of speed and wont slow down. The cop pulls up beside him and yells pull emergency brake and put foot on brake at same time . Thereby burning up the brakes in mean time !

NOW , did it ever cross any ones mind to just " PUT IT IN NEUTRAL" !!!

WELLLLLLLL DUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !!

Even a blown engine is better than wrecking , so you put in neutral and wait till it stops then turn off ignition !

The point is people DON'T know there cars and therefore PANIC . And PART of the reason is because in the Schools have decided that Sports are more important than shop class !

As A Kid Growing up , I could change my oil , change a tire , and various other basic things by 15 . By the time I graduated from High school I had been through a shop class and had COMPLETELY REBUILT AN ENGINE ! But Hey I'm old school I guess .

Guess my point is that there is a whole world of things people NEED to know about driving not just point and drive . LEARN about the potentially deadly thing your setting in !

Parents , MAKE YOUR KIDS LEARN TO ! Go With Them , THAT QUALITY time could just save YOUR and THEIR Lives !

So do me a favor people , If all you wanna do is , Gas / Brake / Point . Please don't point it at me !

Don't Like My Opinion ? I Don't Care , Its My SandBox I'll Pee In It If I Want To !!

Lets Talk Olympics !

2010-02-28T06:03:00.000-08:00

I have been watching some of the Olympic Coverage , as most have . There are several areas that I really enjoy and several areas that really frost my shorts !

First of all I would like to express my sadness in the loss of an athlete in such a manner . No one should be put into a position that they are facing such danger to compete in a sport . Several people have been injured in these games , some serious some not so much. However its my feeling that the Olympic committee should be addressing the safety of such sports BEFORE the people are put into that situation.

Secondly , I am of the opinion that the Committee is TO concerned about the overall thought of how does the athletes behavior reflect on the games . So the Canadian women smoke Cigars !! Big Hairy Flipping deal !! Get over it ! BE A LITTLE MORE CONCERNED WITH POINT #1

Third, I have always been against the idea of professionals being part of the Olympics . There used to be a time when the AMATURE'S were the ones who represented their respective homes . And Guess What FEWER PEOPLE GOT KILLED AND HURT !! Do you know why ?
Because they didn't have to push the boundaries of safety and make it faster and harder.
( SEE POINT # 1 )

Fourth , Lets have more " Games Oriented " Olympics . They have become much like the Professional games we see all the time . I wanna see the athletes Playing Not listen to all the Commentators explaining to me what I just saw ! I'M NOT AN IDIOT ! I SAW IT ! I DON'T NEED YOUR EXPLANATION !! Which takes us back to point #2. IF the athletes mess up , less will be thought about it if YOU NEWS PEOPLE SHUT UP AND DON'T TALK ABOUT IT ! That way maybe the committee can focus more on the REAL concerns !

I don't want people to think I'm am against the Olympics , I love watching the games . Some of the best performances Ive ever seen have taken place . That's just the point , that's what we want to see . There are SOOOOOOOO many excellent athletes that compete and do a wonderful job of representation , lets focus on that and leave the other stuff out.

Make a concerted effort to make sure that ANYTHING we see is the GOOD stuff , Positive .

My hats off to all the competitors , win or lose they have done their best and have been able to represent their homes . THAT is winning ! And I believe that they ALL should be able to take home a trophy for their efforts ! Maybe a ring that shows there involvement !

All in all I have been VERY pleased with what Ive seen , the abilities of these people is just awesome . ALL should be applauded and praised for their ability and effort !

WE AT THE COFFEE SHOP SALUTE YOU !

Budweiser Offers NEW Diet Beer !!!

2010-02-04T08:25:00.000-08:00

The CoffeeMan Can Officially Die A Happy Man . His Wildest Dreams Have Been Realized . Right Along With The Epic Inventions Of The Thong And Viagra !!

The Beer making Rulers Of The World Have seen It In There Infinite Wisdom To Make A Beer Especially For Guys Like Me !

I Think I Have Bro-mance Going Here .

*wipes tear from my eye *

This Is A day To Be Remembered Into The Vastness Of the History Books :

Read About It here !

With mountains of deep-fried chicken wings and enough guacamole to turn you green, the Super Bowl is the day when diets die a cholesterol-choked death.

But while your waist may balloon, who says you need to sport a matching beer belly too? This week marks the release of Anheuser-Busch's Select 55, a light beer that's barely more caloric -- and flavorful -- than water.

Clocking in at a slender 55 calories and 1.9 grams of carb's per 12-ounce bottle, Select is the self-professed "world's lightest beer," a statement that's as enticing as "the world's tastiest rice cake."

WELL FOLKS !! The Week has turned around and the sky is blue the birds are chirping and the Coffeemans Life has become worth Living .

Seeeeeeeeeeeeee Ya at the Beer barn !!

Farm Kid Joins Marines !!

2010-01-15T09:45:00.000-08:00

Dear Ma and Pa,

I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before all of the places are filled.

I was restless at first because you get to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m. But I am getting so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot, and shine some things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay. Practically nothing.

Men got to shave but it is not so bad, there's warm water. Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie and other regular food, but tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit by the two city boys that live on coffee. Their food, plus yours, holds you until noon when you get fed again. It's no wonder these city boys can't walk much.

We go on 'route marches,' which the platoon sergeant says are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it's not my place to tell him different. A 'route march' is about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys get sore feet and we all ride back in trucks.

The sergeant is like a school teacher. He nags a lot. The Captain is like the school board. Majors and colonels just ride around and frown. They don't bother you none.

This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing. I keep getting medals for shooting. I don't know why.. The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk head and don't move, and it ain't shooting at you like the Higgett boys at home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it. You don't even load your own cartridges They come in boxes.

Then we have what they call hand-to-hand combat training. You get to wrestle with them city boys. I have to be real careful though, they break real easy. It ain't like trying to castrate them young bulls at home. I'm about the best they got in this except for that Tug Jordan from over in Silver Lake . I only beat him once... He joined up the same time as me, but I'm only 5'6' and 130 pounds and he's 6' 6" and near 300 pounds dry.

Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join before other fellers get onto this setup and come stampeding in.

Your loving daughter,

Heidi Anne

SCAM ALERT !! OLDER MEN BEWARE !

2009-12-27T07:42:00.000-08:00

A 'heads up' for those men who may be regular Lowe's, Home Depot, or Sam's
customers. This one caught me by total surprise.

Over the last month I became a victim of a clever scam while out shopping. Simply going out to
get supplies has turned out to be quite traumatic. Don't be naive enough
to think it couldn't happen to you or your friends.

Here's how the scam works:

Two seriously good-looking 20-something girls come over to my car as
I was packing my shopping into the trunk. They both started wiping my
windshield with a rag and Windex, with their their skimpy T-shirts and hot pants . It is
very difficult not to look. When I thanked them and offered them a tip,
they said 'No' and instead asked me for a ride to McDonald's.

I agreed, Being the gentleman that I am , and they get into the back seat. Then one of them climbed over into the front seat and started crawling all over me, I had my hands all over her trying valiantly to fend her off !
Meanwhile the other one was stealing my wallet.

I had my wallet stolen October 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th, 17th,
20th, 24th, & 29th.
Also November 2nd & 4th, twice on the 8th, 16th,
23rd, 26th & 28th, three times on the 27th during the Black Friday Sale
and very likely again this upcoming weekend.

So tell your friends to be careful. What a horrible way to take advantage
of older men. Warn your friends to be vigilant. Wal-Mart has wallets on
sale for $2.99 each. I found cheaper ones for $1.99 at K- Mart in
Texarkana but I bought them out.

Also, you never will get to eat at McDonald's. I've already lost 11 pounds
just running back and forth to Lowe's, Home Depot, and Sam's.

Be Care full out there Its a Crazy World I tell you ! I Feel SO Violated !

Coffeeshop Closing For The Winter !

2009-12-11T07:26:00.000-08:00

Hello all , I may not be posting here as much as I used to . I am planning on spending more Time at My other Blog wiks-n-wudwerks Please feel free to stop in there and say hello .

Besides its becomming IMPOSSIBLE to keep waitress help that will show up here for work.

LOLOLOL .

Hope to see you all at Wiks-n-Wudwerks

Kids Think They Are Entitled

2009-11-23T12:32:00.001-08:00

An Illinois teenager alerted authorities when his parents did the unthinkable -- they took away his Microsoft Xbox 360. ( "GASP")

The ( Read article here Daily Herald ) reports that an unnamed 15-year-old called 911 last week after his mother and father took away his Xbox as a punishment for an undisclosed transgression.

( Yes Mom And Dad way to go !! We at the Coffeeshop Salute You !)

Buffalo Grove police Cmdr. Steve Husak says that the caper started out as a hang-up call to the emergency service.

Husak Says that all abandoned 911 calls in the area are traced and that officers follow up with a visit to the address .

"When officers responded, they saw it was a domestic situation," says Husak. "The center of the argument was that his parents were punishing him and " he wanted clarification of whether or not they could do that." ( Well DUHHHHH ! )

Officers advised him that yes, that was in fact a " punishment."

Husak adds that officers went on to explain that the boy's parents were well within their rights and that he should try to follow the rules of the house.

" Strikes Up The Tune " I FOUGHT THE LAW AND THE LAW WON !

Loyalty In The World

2009-11-11T05:28:00.000-08:00

What has happened to " Loyalty" . We used to live in a place where a Handshake was as good as a written contract. Now it seems peoples word is only as good as the amount of money they can make off of the deal.

I know in larger city's this has been a problem for a long time , however I live in a small farming community. One of the Major attractions of small farm life was that people still had Values and Morals and would stand behind the neighbor.

People went out of there way to "do for others" to be " Friend" not just a business associate.
And the "Other person" remembered that and returned the loyalty .

It seems that now a days the amount of Loyalty is dependant on the almighty dollar.

The " I will be loyal as long as there is something in it for me " Concept seems to be the days norm . And Don't people realize their children pick up on this and imitate those attitudes.

Question yourself , If a person is WILLING to be DISLOYAL For Me , Will He Not Also Be DISLOYAL TO ME ?

Why is it a person can go The "Extra Mile" And its "expected" instead of appreciated .
So Tell me , where is Loyalty today ? Has It become Just a Fancy word , A relic of the past .

Maybe Our newest Museum Should be

" THINGS THAT USED TO MATTER "

MAIN ATTRACTION !!

" LOYALTY "

( little boy walking by " Daddy whats that " ?? well son that's an antiquated ideal ! )

Sad Day At The Coffee Shop

2009-10-28T07:13:00.000-07:00

About 4 months ago someone dropped off 3 kittens by our home and they were starving and wild as march hares.

Candle lady is a sucker for the hard luck cases , so she started feeding them and watching from a distance . We currently have 7 cats by the way , so as you can tell we have Lot's of strays come up.

It took about a month of feeding and sitting closer and closer before two of the three would stay put . The third one , a solid grey is still to timid to be touched.

One was a solid black long hair male and the other a calico female.

After the first month or so the Black long hair ( she named Bagerra from Disney movie ) he just one day jumped in her lap and started cuddling her. Of course the calico wasn't far behind.

She took them and had shots done and "fixed" to help cut down on more cats . We have enjoyed the " lil " fella playing on the deck and chasing the "acorns" that fall from our tree.

The black long hair was her favorite by far and she spent allot of time with him . He had personality and was quite the handsome fella.

This brings me to why I'm posting . Last night he was apparently out and was where he shouldn't have been . In the dark I'm sure its hard to see a black cat and the car won. Fortunately he didn't suffer at all. It was quick.

I have a very heartbroken candle lady and short legs today . Of course its always the "favorite" that gets in harms way it seems.

So today is a hard day here . She still has two that she has saved and I have told her to focus on them . And , not to make light of it, there will be more strays and we will save and lose more I'm sure.

I guess i just don't get how people can dump animals and let them starve . Even with the occasional loss of a pet , the joy that comes of spending time and watching them grow and play is worth the risk.

So I guess , My hats off to lil Bagerra today . He will be sorely missed.

Even by the gruff old CoffeeMan .

MILK MAID !!!

2009-10-27T06:58:00.000-07:00

It seems the milkmaid has forgotten about me here ! I know she is busy , but all I get is a hello in a week ? Seems like she needs some motivation. SO FINE , I will motivate .

My New and Improved MilkMaid Trap .

Stay Clear if you don't wanna get caught by it.

Prepare yourself !

She wont be able to resist , be like a moth to the flame !!

She's Caught NOW !!!

Simple Things

2009-10-20T05:16:00.000-07:00

We live in a world so wrapped up in getting ahead , making the almighty dollar , that most people never stop to really enjoy the simple pleasures in life any more.

I realize there are many who would like to and because of stressful circumstances cannot, that's not who I'm referring to here. The world in general is to busy trying to get "rich" .

For example, simple things . Stop for a moment and ask yourself when did I last enjoy this "moment"

(1) A walk holding hands with the one you love.
(2) The smell of a beautiful flower
(3) The hugs of a little child , grandchild
(4) Looking at the stars on a clear beautiful night
(5) The feel of a brand new pair of socks ( one of my favorites)
(6) Cuddling with your sweetie in front of a campfire
(7) The wonder and excitement in the eyes of a child learning
(8) A beautifull sunset or sunrise
(9) Watching two squirrels play hide and go chase in the tree .
(10) Jumping in a pile of leaves
(11) The smell of a campfire burning
(12) That song on the radio that describes what your feeling right at that moment
( Thanks Willow )
(13) reading a book, melting chocolate in your mouth in soft pajamas.
( Thank You Karen Deborah )
(14) ( Add Yours Here )
The best ones dont really cost us anything but our time , and are way more valuable to us than any monetary value we assign to our time .

And I'm sure if we stop and think about it we could add dozens more to this list.

So that's the assignment ! Stop and think , what would you add , or what are your "moments" of simple things that are so precious that somehow get pushed aside in the rat race we call life.

Take the time ! Enjoy those moments ! And most will have to agree , Money isn't even on the list !

Have a Wonderful Day Everyone

Celtic Woman

2009-10-11T06:23:00.000-07:00

I WENT TO SEE CELTIC WOMEN !! COFFEEMAN WAS EXPOSED TO * GASP* CULTURE!!

**waits for someone to scrape milkmaids butt up off floor and give her smelling salts**

The CandleLady decided that CoffeeMan needed culture in his life and she recently purchased tickets to go see "Celtic Woman " .

Then she asked me if I would be willing to go and see the concert with her . What she didn't know is that I had actually seen parts of it on PBS and was quite impressed . So I said , SURRRRRE Those ladies Jiggle real nice !! *Grins*

After the "LOOK" had subsided and her mouth was off the floor she got online and purchased the tickets . Was $ 30.00 per ticket , so not ungodly high.

Well last night the concert was held and Coffeeman donned his nice pants and white shirt , NO i didn't wear a tie sheeeeeeeesh !! Just how much *culture* is one guy supposed to stand in one night ? *silly girls*

Any way we got all gussied up and even shortlegs *looking quite lady like * and off we went.

The concert started at 8:00 pm and ended at 10:30 with a 20 min intermission.

Now I will tell you , some of the finest 4 part harmony I have ever heard came out of the mouths of the lovely young ladies . They danced and sang and coffeeman was as impressed as I have ever been at ANY concert bar none.

The young lady pictured above doesn't sing , however she plays the violin / fiddle and dances and spins in such a manner that you CANNOT help but be impressed . I was completely blown away at the musical talent presented there last night. They had 2 sets of drums, so lots of percussion . And not just basic drums I mean every type you could think of. Guitarist , flutist , piano , base . And the floor show was excellent , lights and dancing .

And it was easy to tell that the performers were enjoying it as much as I was. They didn't come off as aloof or special by any means . I honestly felt I was watching a group of down home folks doing what they do best and trying really hard to put on a excellent show to give me what I paid for .

SO HUSBANDS . ** And Evan Too** If you get a chance to take your lovely brides /Lady friends too* ** snorts** to see the concert Celtic Women . Do So . You Will NOT be disappointed .

Stupid Is As Stupid DID

2009-10-09T06:40:00.001-07:00

Well it has been accomplished !! NASA sent a bomb to the moon !!

I woke up this morning and the Sky's are sunny !
The Birds are Chirping !
Unemployment is down !
Cancer has been cured!
All of the world has food and proper clothing and a place to live !
Health insurance is now $20.00 a month for full coverage !
And NO ONE WAS MURDERED, OR RAPED , OR ROBBED TODAY !!

That's right The MILLIONS we spent to see an explosion on the moon has solved all mankind's problem !

WHOOOOOOPPPIEEEEEE!!

That's when I WOKE UP !!

And people will STILL say that Mankind can solve all our problems ??

THINK PEOPLE !! sheeeeeeeeeeeeesh!!

As has proven true all along , the only thing that people have gotten really proficient at is BLOWING STUFF UP!!

Fortunately we have video of the historic even !!

Yes The world is a MUCH better place now ! I feel SOOOOOOO much more secure !!

STUPID IS AS STUPID DOES

2009-10-08T06:17:00.000-07:00

( Reprint )

(Oct. 7) -- A NASA probe is about to fire a missile into the moon and you might be able to get a glimpse of the impact.
The missile released by the Lunar Crater Observing and Sensing Satellite (LCROSS) will slam into the moon's south pole Friday, sending up a plume of debris several miles high. Instruments on the booster trailing the missile will analyze the debris and, before also crashing into the lunar surface, will relay the data to the
( " LCROSS " ) orbiter.

WHAT ??

We are living on a planet that is suffering from:

Lack of Fresh Water
Lack of food for millions
Lack of proper Medication for millions
Unsurpassed crime
War that seems will NEVER end
We have a Unemployment rate that is as bad as its been in yrs
We have an economy that is getting worse
We have Farmers going out of business daily
We have A national debt that is absolutely ludicrous
We have disease that we have created that we CANNOT cure
We have terrorist that kill and mutilate daily
We have increasing tax Difficulty
We have Lack of health Insurance for Millions
SHALL I CONTINUE !!

This is only a small portion of the vast problems that we as a RACE OF HUMANS ARE FACING !

DOESN'T MATTER WHAT POLITICAL SIDE YOU ARE ON OR WHAT COUNTRY YOU LIVE IN ITS THE SAME !

And NOW the powers that be ( Both Sides ) want to spend hard earned tax dollars on sending a bomb to the MOON To Look for water ??

HEY STUPID !!

Hows about we look for a solution to problems we have here and spend the money that way !!

Don't even try and tell me that this "science" will benefit mankind . That's a load of Horse Crap !

But sir you don't see the long term potential !! HOG HEWEY !! The long term potential is Crap. I DO SEE THE POTENTIAL OF CURING CANCER WITH WHAT WE HAVE HERE ON THE PLANET SPEND MONEY LOOKING THERE !!

I DO SEE THE LONG TERM POTENTIAL OF SOLVING THE ENERGY CRISIS SPEND MONEY THERE

I DO SEE THE LONG TERM POTENTIAL OF FEEDING MILLIONS FOR A WHILE ON WHAT THIS WILL COST SPEND MONEY THERE

This is a perfect example of money being wasted on stupidity rather than using it to the GOOD of mankind in general .

This isn't a political post , this is simply a post in regards to the waste of my money on ignorance and things that are TOTALLY unnecessary in the name of science and space travel !

You want to impress me ?

STOP THE STUPID STUFF AND START SOLVING THE TROUBLE WE HAVE NOW!!

2009-09-29T13:41:00.000-07:00

Hello All , I've had a horrible day ! I got stopped for speeding this morning and thought well just maybe I could talk my way out of the ticket.

So I got my License and Registration out and waited patiently for him to approach my car .

As he walked up I opened my window and proceeded to prepare myself to logically explain my way out of the ticket.

Obviously his speed gun has malfunctioned . There is No Possible way I could have been driving that fast ! I pondered various approaches , each with a logical explanation of why I couldn't possibly be at fault and therefore not warrant a ticket .

As if he was reading my mind , he took one look in the back seat of my car and as he smiled , he told me to save it , no use even trying . I was getting a ticket and there was no way out of it.

Confused , I looked in the back seat to see what could possible bus such damning evidence ?

Well

I guess I've Got A Ticket To Pay For !!

Lil Traitor supposed to be MY best Friend !!

HawlMark , The Bad Days

2009-09-11T12:56:00.000-07:00

Ever Wonder What Happens When HawlMark Writers Have Bad Days ?

I Mean ALL OF US Have Bad Days.

So. Research has been done and this is what we found in the dumpster outside .

Look through these please and let me know your thoughts. personally there are a couple I would have bought !

Example Cards

Sympathy

My Tire Was Thumping
I Thought it was flat

I got out and checked
and found it was your cat !

So Sorry !!

Example # 2

So Your Daughters a Hooker
and its spoiled your day !

Look on the bright side
She makes realllyyyyy good pay !

So Sorry

Example # 3

I heard your wife left you
How grieved you must be .

Your problems are mine
she moved in with me !

So Sorry

Anniversary

Looking Over the years
tears , toil, and joking

I now have to wonder
what the hell was I smoking !

Happy Anniversary

Example # 2

I've always desired someone to hold
a person to love , to cherish , and have to grow old

After 5 years of Marriage
In reflection I find

If Forever's Like this
Then I've Changed my Mind !

Religion

I never imagined
religion in life

all that's been changed
since you've been my wife

from day one , it was easy to tell
with this in my future
there MUST be a hell

Birthdays

Since the beginning ,the day we first met
The die was cast the stage was set

you helped me grow up from being a lad
I wish you HAPPY Birthday

My Dear " UNCLE DAD "

( available in selected states only )

Example # 2

Happy Birthday dear friend , Your Older than me
But the days have been kind, to You I can see

after all your plastic surgery, silicon, teeth , and hair spike
I am amazed at the outcome ,You look almost lifelike !!

Example #3

All your friends decided something special to do
we sat and we drank and thought it all through

A Pet we all thought , A dog ? Cat? or a Sheep?
then we decided , what the hell, we'll just put
YOU to sleep !

Happy Birthday

Breaking Up

When we were together you said you would be
always around a protection for me.

I'll die for you, you said, everyone heard
now please be a man and go keep your word

Promotion

Congrats on the promotion, it is given to show
the hard work and dedication all came to know

To bad it was MY work , covering YOUR slack
so when you move to your office
don't forget your knife in my back !

Vacation

As the days pass by , I know how lucky I am
beautiful sunsets , great drinks , pretty women , white sand

I appreciate your hard work back in the office you see
and I am so damn glad your not here , to ruin this for me

Well What did ya think you were gonna read ?

Any One relate to This ?

2009-09-04T10:38:00.000-07:00

Maybe I Should Ask The Husbands ??

Everyone Meet The CANDLELADY !!

Duffer Golf Update Votes Needed !

2009-09-01T12:15:00.000-07:00

I ran Across this recently and have decided I want to get the needed Signatures to get these long needed rule changes taken seriously and admitted to the Golf Rules Book .

Vote Now !!

Duffer Golfer Rules

Rule 1.a.5
A ball sliced or hooked into the rough shall be lifted and placed on the fairway at a point equal to the distance it carried or rolled into the rough
with no penalty. The Duffer should not be penalized for tall grass which
ground keepers failed to mow.

Rule 2.d.6 (b)
A ball hitting a tree shall be deemed not to have hit the tree. This is
simply bad luck and luck has no place in a scientific game. The Duffer
must estimate the distance the ball would have traveled if it had not
hit the tree and play the ball from there.

Rule 3.b.3(g)
There shall be no such thing as a lost ball. The missing ball is on or near
the course and will eventually be found and pocketed by someone else, making
it a stolen ball. The Duffer is not to compound the felony by charging
himself or herself with a penalty.

Rule 4.c.7(h)
If a putt passes over a hole without dropping, it is deemed to have dropped.
The law of gravity supersedes the Rules of Golf.

Rule 5.
Putts that stop close enough to the cup that they could be blown in, may be
blown in. This does not apply to balls more than three inches from the hole.
No one wants to make a travesty of the game.

Rule 6.a.9(k)
There is no penalty for so-called "out of bounds." If penny-pinching golf course owners bought sufficient land, this would not occur. The Duffer
deserves an apology, not a penalty.

Rule 7.g.15(z)
There is no penalty for a ball in a water hazard, as golf balls should
float. Duffers should not be penalized for manufacturers'
shortcomings.

Rule 8.k.9(s)
Advertisements claim that golf scores can be improved by purchasing new golf
equipment. Since this is financially impractical for many Duffer golfers,
one-half stroke per hole may be subtracted for using any prior year's (then
brand new ... and still perfectly serviceable) golf equipment or terms such
as: "brassy", "niblick", "mashy", or "The hell you say!".

Please advise all Duffer friends of these important changes, and carry a
copy with you at all times, so you may successfully defend yourself should
your wife or any smart-alecky young male challenge any of these clearly improved, perfectly reasoned, impeccably fair and long overdue new rules.

Mandolin Post # 7 is up ITS DONE !

2009-08-24T06:13:00.000-07:00

Well Its Finished . Please stop by Wiks-N-Wudwerks to see the finished Project !

Person Of The Week!

2009-08-21T04:54:00.000-07:00

All Here at the CoffeeShop "Salute You" Young Lady

A real hero:

Quick-thinking teen Rachel Guzy pulled bus brake after driver dropped dead
BY Henrick Karoliszyn, Edgar Sandoval and Rich Schapiro
DAILY NEWS WRITERS

Camp counselor Rachel Guzy, 16, saved 9 kids after their bus driver had a heart attack and died while driving.

School bus driver dies on the job with 9 kids in vehicle
A quick-thinking 16-year-old girl - who doesn't even know how to drive - was hailed as a hero on Wednesday for saving a bus full of kids after the driver dropped dead behind the wheel.

"If not for Rachel, we could have been dead or at the hospital," Artemis Sacramone, 12, a camper at the Magic Carpet Day Camp, said Wednesday, a day after camp counselor Rachel Guzy's heroic act.

WELL DONE !!!

Wiks-N-Wudwerks Post #6

2009-08-18T16:35:00.000-07:00

Mandolin post # 6 is up at Wiks-N-Wudwerks . Please stop by and have a look while your in the area.

Mandolin Post # 5 Getting closer to playable .

2009-08-12T06:03:00.000-07:00

Please stop in and see my latest post at wiks-N-wudwerks

Mandolin Post #4

2009-08-09T07:12:00.000-07:00

I have posted the 4th set of pics at wiks-N-wudwerks of the mandolin project .

please use the link to have a look

Mandolin Post #3 up

2009-08-02T15:30:00.000-07:00

Thank You for stopping by , please stop into Wiks -N-Wudwerks And see my Project .

Post # 2 up and a small contest !

2009-07-30T06:21:00.000-07:00

Please stop by Wiks-N-Wudwerks and look at post 2 . Can you Guess the job that the contraption is made to accomplish ?

Short time away from this blog

2009-07-26T17:05:00.000-07:00

I wont be posting here for a while , I have finished my project Mandolin and will be posting on Wiks-N-WudWerks about that project. Please drop by and tell me what you think , or even ask Questions . I wll answer them to the best of my ability . Thank you for your time and putting up with my little hobby.

Teen Girl Survives Plane Crash

2009-07-02T06:10:00.000-07:00

I have been reading about this young girl who survived the plane crash recently when 152 others died . It seems like its the impossible happening , however , stuff like this happens more often than we realize I think.
I am happy for her father , yet sad that her mom was lost , possibly dying right beside her. That alone would have traumatic affect on her . She will have scars to deal with for the rest of her life and trauma that will haunt her.

I hope she gets the attention she needs in a psychological way. The deepest cuts are usually never visible.

HOWEVER !

What I want to talk about is what was done to her after !

This poor young girl has just survived a plane crash , her mother was lost along with 151 others . She has stated that she heard voices while she floated in the water for a while , so there were others at some point alive .
She managed 13 hrs in the water and came away with very minor injuries . During said time the voices stopped . Were people dying around her ? The Mental Trauma that she had to be going through .

And THEN

THEY PUT HER ON A PLANE TO SEND HER HOME !!!

Am I the ONLY person to see the stupidity in that move ?

Lets add additional Trauma to this poor girl !! PUT HER ON A PLANE ??

Have we become so insensitive as a people that we don't stop long enough to think , Maybe , JUST MAYBE That was a BAD idea ?

The white knuckle flight home had to be as terrifying as the original ordeal !

Ive heard someone say , fall off a horse , get right back on ! WELL A HORSE doesn't KILL 152 people and leave you stranded in the water for 13 HRS !

Well there is my 2 cents worth !

You may not like my Opinion , but its my sandbox I'll pee in it if I want to!

Remembering My Teen Years

2009-06-27T05:10:00.000-07:00

And YES Sassy Waitress I AM gonna hang it in the coffee shop!

Brings Back SOOOOOOOO Many Memories !

RIP !

New Blog To Most

2009-06-20T16:56:00.000-07:00

Many of you may not Know , I have a second blog , Wiks-N-Wudwerks . Its listed on my Links at right of page . What it consist of is my Wud Werkin adventures as well as the Candles My Wife Has for sale should anyone be interested. Stop In and say hello .

And Then The Fight Started " Round 3 "

2009-06-17T13:18:00.001-07:00

Well Folks , Our Fighters are both just about exhausted . There have been some serious punches thrown here , and i might add after the last round the Husbands were just short of getting knocked out .

I sure hope the coach has gotten the men back on their feet , and stitched up.

However READY OR NOT !

Its Time For : ROUND 3

Remember a clean fight you two !!

DING DING DING

***************************************

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I
kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a
nearby table.

My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'

'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to
drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she
hasn't been sober since.'

'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on
celebrating that long?'

And then the fight started...

******************************************

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my
order first.
"I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."
He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?""
Nah, she can order for herself."

And then the fight started...

******************************************

A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel
horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.
I really need you to pay me a compliment.'

The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'

And then the fight started.....

Look out folks the Wife is Down , we have the ref counting

1

2

Is she gonna be able to recover ?

3

4

5

shes moving trying to get up !

7

She slowly getting to her feet , looks at the husband weaving , and shocked.

***************************************

My cats all get scared on occasion , and when they do there tails poof up !

Husband jumps in and says : Thats right baby , tell people your butts not fat your just SCARED !

And thats when the fight started :

DING DIND DING DING DING

THE FIGHTS OVER !! What an upset , the husbands win with a last minute TKO in the 3rd round !

The crowds going wild , claiming a cheap shot !

We will have to let the fight committee review this , however as for now its the husbands winning in round 3 with a TKO !!

And Then The Fight Started " Round 2"

2009-06-15T09:32:00.000-07:00

Well Folks Its Time For ROUND 2 Of Our Great Fight Of The Century !

Remember , Clean Fight , Leave The Inlaws Out of It .

Now Go To Your Corners And come Out Swinging !

DING DING DING

My Wife rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road
and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes
you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah,
well I couldn't believe it.... He was a DWARF!!!

He stormed over to Her car, looked up at Her , and shouted, "I AM NOT HAPPY
!!!"

So, She looked down at him and said, "Well, then which one are you?"

And then the fight started.....

*****************************************

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3
seconds.'

I bought her a scale.

And then the fight started...

******************************************

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace
expensive...
so, I took her to a gas station.

And then the fight started...

******************************************

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social
Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license
to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my
wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have
to go home and come back later.

The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my
curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof
enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the
Social Security office.

She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten
disability, too.'

And then the fight started....

DING DING DING

Break it UP !!

WOW , Well Guys This Round is awarded to the Ladies By Unanimous Vote , The Husbands are reeling and it may be a close battle for Round 3

Stop In Soon For

ROUND 3 Of:

AND THEN THE FIGHT STARTED !!!

Would someone get that man a ice pack and clean up this mess , sheesh she killed him that time !

AND THEN THE FIGHT STARTED

2009-06-12T15:32:00.000-07:00

I have run across some doozies , and after being married for a couple hundred years i believe these are QUITE appropriate !

In This Corner We Have Weighing In At Over 200Lbs THE HUSBANDS

And In The Other Corner We Have Weighing In At 100 Lbs ( Snicker ) THE WIVES

Ok I want A Clean Fight , No Gouging , Kicking , Cussing , Or Throwing Stuff !!

And Leave The Inlaws Outa the Fight !!

DING DING DING

Please enjoy : ROUND 1 Of

" And Then The Fight Started "

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels. She
asked, 'What's on TV?'
I said, 'Dust.'

And then the fight started...

******************************************

My wife and I are watching "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" while we were
in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"
"No," she answered.
I then said, "Is that your final answer?"
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, "Yes."
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

And then the fight started....

*** ***************************************

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed
the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to
the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The
wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the
radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into
bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation,
and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."

My loving wife of 10 years replied, "Can you believe my stupid husband
is out fishing in that?"

And then the fight started...

DING DING DING

End Of Round 1 :

And we have to award this round to THE HUSBANDS

Stop back in we will be bringing on ROUND 2 as soon as our Fight.... errrrrrrrrr ........Married Couple catch their breath !

If You Have Had Any In YOUR Marriage You Would Like To Share , Please Feel Free To Leave A Comment !!

Its All In Good Fun !

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCMENT !!

2009-06-08T12:39:00.000-07:00

DC ALERT

The Center for Disease Control has issued a medical alert about a highly contagious, potentially dangerous virus that is transmitted orally, by hand, and even electronically.

This virus is called :

Weekly Overload Recreational Killer (WORK).

If you receive WORK from your boss, any of your colleagues or anyone else via any means whatsoever - DO NOT TOUCH IT.

This virus will wipe out your private life completely. If you should come into contact with WORK you should immediately leave the premises.

Take two good friends to the nearest grocery store and purchase one or both of the antidotes :

Work Isolating Neutralizer Extract (WINE)

and

Bothersome Employer Elimination Rebooter (BEER).

Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system.

You should immediately forward this medical alert to five friends.

If you do not have five friends, you have already been infected and WORK is controlling your life.

Little Known " Important " Facts UHH HUHH

2009-06-02T04:30:00.000-07:00

Some interesting TidBits that most of us cannot live without knowing !

( 1 ) In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes.
When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer
to sleep on. Hence the phrase.......... 'goodnight, sleep tight..'

( 2 ) It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month
after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all
the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calender
was lunar based, this period was called the honey month, which we know
today as the "honeymoon. "

( 3 ) In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts... So in old England ,
when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them 'Mind your
pints and quarts, and settle down.'
It's where we get the phrase 'mind your P's and Q's'

( 4 ) Many years ago in England , pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the
rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they
used the whistle to get some service.. 'Wet your whistle' is the phrase
inspired by this practice.

( 5 ) In the 1400's a law was set forth in England that a man was allowed to
beat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb. Hence we have
'the rule of thumb'

( 6 ) Many years ago in Scotland , a new game was invented. It was ruled
'Gentlemen Only....Ladies Forbidden'...and thus the word GOLF entered into
the English language

SEE Dont You FEEL Smarter already !

And Remember The Motto For Today Is !

Take Life On Like A DOG , If Ya Cant Eat It , Fight It , Or Bury It . Then Sniff It , Pee On It .... And Walk Away !!

Snorts and Spew's Coffee !!

2009-05-25T05:35:00.000-07:00

I found this and decided instantly it had to be a permanent hanging in the coffeee shop !

Remind You Of Anyone Sassy Waitress ?

ROFLMAO

Well Now that I have Managed to chap off The Waitress and The Candle Lady My Day is Complete !!

IVE FOUND IT !!

2009-05-17T17:18:00.000-07:00

After many years of exhausting and never ending work , I have finally found the item that ALL men dream about !

Its the very thing that is the answer to all mens prayers !

I was in the outer Most reagions of southern mongolia , chasing after the elusive Brown horned "Jiggity Jog " and as i cut through the dense underbrush .............

THERE IT WAS !

I Chased it many miles , befor setting the ultimate trap and finally it is

MINE !

MINE I TELL YOU ....

ALL MINE !!

( hysterical evil laugh )

Well u wanna see it ? Its in the box you see before you here !

Please ask all children to leave the room !!

And By all means ask ALL husbands to enter the room !!

As we pry open the crate the elusive item is brought to the open for all men to see and be amazed and lust for so readly !

Please contain yourselves gentlemen , im sure in time your wives will gladly make sure your dreams are answered by providing you with THIS your hearts desire !!

( drum roll )

BE STILL MY HEART !!

YES MEN IT IS FINALLY AVAILABLE

PLACE YOUR ORDERS TODAY !!

AHHH TO BE 6 AGAIN !

2009-04-18T18:09:00.000-07:00

A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, observing his wife, looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she'd like to have for her Birthday.

'I'd like to be six again', she replied, still looking in the mirror.

"Finally Somthing I Can Do Right " He thought

On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Lucky Charms.

Then Decided to take her to Six Flags theme park.

What a day!

He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide,the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Monster RollerCoaster, everything there was.

Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park.Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down.

He then took her to a McDonald's where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolateshake.

Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop, and her favorite candy, M&M's.

What a fabulous adventure!

Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted. He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, '

Well Dear, what was it like being six again?'

Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed.

'I meant my dress size, you retard!!!!

'The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he is gonna get it wrong.

Thanks Brownie !

Hello All You CrackPots !

2009-03-28T17:10:00.000-07:00

I was sent this recently by a friend and thought it merited posting as well ,

SO I AM DEDICATING this to MY CRACKPOT Friend !

Heres To You : " MilkMansWife "

An elderly Chinese woman had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole which she carried across her neck. One of the pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water.

At the end of the long walks from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only half full. For a full two years this went on daily, with the woman bringing home only one and a half pots of water. Of course , the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it could only do half of what it had been made to do.

After two years of what it perceived to be bitter failure, it spoke to the woman one day by the stream

'I am ashamed of myself, because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your house.

' The old woman smiled,

'Did you notice that there are flowers on your side of the path, but not on the other pot's side? ' 'That's because I have always known about your flaw, so I
planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you water them.' 'For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table.

Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the house.'

Each of us has our own unique flaw. But it's the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding.

You've just got to take each person for what they are and look for the good in them. SO, to all of my crackpot friends, have a great day and remember to smell the flowers on your side of the path!

Through The Eyes Of A Child

2009-03-12T14:27:00.000-07:00

I dont normally post ANYTHING about Religion Or Politics , But I COULD NOT let this one go .
It is a little long but worth EVERY minute !

A child was asked to write a book report on the entire Bible.
I wonder how often we take for granted that children understand what we are teaching???

Through the eyes of a child: The Children's Bible in a Nutshell

In the beginning, which occurred near the start, there was nothing but God, darkness, and some gas. The Bible says, 'The Lord thy God is one, but I think He must be a lot older than that. Anyway, God said, 'Give me a light!' and someone did. Then God made the world.

He split the Adam and made Eve. Adam and Eve were naked, but they weren't embarrassed because mirrors hadn't been invented yet. Adam and Eve disobeyed God by eating one bad apple, so they were driven from the Garden of Eden . Not sure what they were driven in though, because they didn't have cars. Adam and Eve had a son, Cain, who hated his brother as long as he was Abel.

Pretty soon all of the early people died off, except for Methuselah , who lived to be like a million or something. One of the next important people was Noah, who was a good guy, but one of his kids was kind of a Ham. Noah built a large boat and put his family and some animals on it. He asked some other people to join him, but they said they would have to take a rain check.

After Noah came Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Jacob was more famous than his brother, Esau, because Esau sold Jacob his birthmark in exchange for some pot roast. Jacob had a son named Joseph who wore a really loud sports coat. Another important Bible guy is Moses, whose real name was Charlton Heston . Moses led the Israel Lights out of Egypt and away from the evil Pharaoh after God sent ten plagues on Pharaoh's people.These plagues included frogs, mice, lice, bowels, and no cable.

God fed the Israel Lights every day with manicotti. Then he gave them His Top Ten Commandments. These include: don't lie, cheat, smoke, dance, or covet your neighbor's stuff.

Oh, yeah, I just thought of one more: Humor thy father and thy mother. One of Moses' best helpers was Joshua who was the first Bible guy to use spies. Joshua fought the battle of Geritol and the fence fell over on the town.

After Joshua came David. He got to be king by killing a giant with a slingshot. He had a son named Solomon who had about 300 wives and 500 porcupines. My teacher says he was wise, but that doesn't sound very wise to me.

After Solomon there were a bunch of major league prophets. One of these was Jonah, who was swallowed by a big whale and then barfed up on the shore. There were also some minor league prophets, but I guess we don't have to worry about them. After the Old Testament came the New Testament .

Jesus is the star of The New. He was born in Bethlehem in a barn. (I wish I had been born in a barn too, because my mom is always saying to me, 'Close the door! Were you born in a barn?' It would be nice to say, 'A s a matter of fact, I was.') During His life, Jesus had many arguments with sinners like the Pharisees and the Democrats. Jesus also had twelve opossums. The worst one was Judas Asparagus.

Judas was so evil that they named a terrible vegetable after him. Jesus was a great man. He healed many leopards and even preached to some Germans on the Mount. But the Democrats and all those guys put Jesus on trial before Pontius the Pilot. Pilot didn't stick up for Jesus. He just washed his hands instead.

Anyways, Jesus died for our sins, then came back to life again. He went up to Heaven but will be back at the end of the Aluminum.

His return is foretold in the book of Revolution.

Remember When ?

2009-03-02T14:22:00.000-08:00

After reading my post someone sent me this , and it goes right along with what i had said .

Enjoy!!

Someone asked the other day, 'What was your favorite fast food when you were growing up?''

We didn't have fast food when I was growing up,' I informed him. 'All the food was slow.

''C'mon, seriously. Where did you eat?' 'It was a place called 'at home,'' I explained!

'Mom cooked every day, and when Dad got home from work, we sat down together at the dining room table, and if I didn't like what she put on my plate I was allowed to sit there until I did like it.

'By this time, the kid was laughing so hard I was afraid he was going to suffer serious internal damage, so I didn't tell him the part about how I had to have permission to leave the table.

But here are some other things I would have told him about my childhood if I figured his system could have handled it:

( 1 ) Some parents NEVER owned their own house, wore Levis, set foot on a golf course, traveled out of the country, or had a credit card.

( 2 ) In their later years they had something called a revolving charge card. The card was good only at Sears Roebuck. Or maybe it was Sears& Roebuck. Either way, there is no Roebuck anymore. Maybe he died.

( 3 ) My parents never drove me to soccer practice. This was mostly because we never had heard of soccer.

( 4 ) I had a bicycle that weighed probably 50 pounds and only had one speed, (slow).

( 5 ) We didn't have a television in our house until I was 12. It was, of course, black and white, and the station went off the air at midnight after playing the national anthem and a poem about God; it came back on the air at about 6 a.m., and there was usually a locally produced news and farm show on, featuring local people.

( 6 ) I was 16 before I tasted my first pizza, it was called 'pizza pie. 'When I bit into it, I burned the roof of my mouth and the cheese slid off, swung down, plastered itself against my chin and burned that, too. It's still the best pizza I ever had.

( 7 ) We didn't have a car until I was 4. It was an old black Dodge.

( 8 ) I never had a telephone in my room. The only phone in the house was in the living room, and it was on a party line. Before you could dial, you had to listen and make sure some people you didn't know weren't already using the line. And before you could answer the phone , you had to make sure it was your ring ! Thats right you had a particular ring that was only for you , you DID NOT answer someone elses ring !

( 9 ) Pizzas were not delivered to our home, but milk was.

( 10 ) All newspapers were delivered by boys and all boys delivered newspapers--my brother delivered a newspaper six days a week. It cost 7 cents a paper, of which he got to keep 2 cents. He had to get up at 6AM every morning. On Saturday, he had to collect the 42 cents from his customers. His favorite customers were the ones who gave him 50 cents and told him to keep the change. His least favorite customers were the ones who never seemed to be home on collection day.

( 11 ) Movie stars kissed with their mouths shut. At least, they did in the movies. There were no movie ratings because all movies were responsibly produced for everyone to enjoy viewing without profanity or violence or most anything offensive.

SO !!

If you grew up in a generation before there was fast food, you may want to share some of these memories with your children or grandchildren. Just don't blame me if they bust a gut laughing.

Growing up isn't what it used to be, is it?

Dont Like My Opinion ? I Dont Care , Its My SandBox I'll Pee In It If I Want To !!

People Under 30 Are SPOILED Nowadays !!

2009-02-06T09:50:00.000-08:00

If you are 30 or older you will think this is hilarious!

When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were when they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning..... Uphill.....barefoot....... .....BOTH ways Yadda, yadda, yadda And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it!

But now that... I'm over the ripe old age of fifty , I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today. You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a darn utopia!

And I hate to say it but you kids today don't know how good you've got it! I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have The Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the darn library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalogue!! Do you even KNOW what a card cataloge IS ? There was no email!! We had to actually write somebody a letter, with a pen! Thats correct PEN AND " GASP " PAPER !!
Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox and it would take like a week to get there! Stamps were 10 cents!

Child Protective Services didn't care if our parents beat us. As a matter of fact, the parents of all my friends also had permission to kick our butts! Nowhere was safe!

There were no MP3' s or Napsters! You wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the record store and shoplift it yourself and pray to god your parents or friends parents didnt find out ! " see previous comment " Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ would usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up! Or right in the middle your mom would yell " Would You Like Lunch ? " Lost more Good Ted Nugent Stuff That way ! There were no CD players! We had 8 track tape decks in our car. We'd play our favorite tape and "eject" it when finished and the tape would come undone - cause that's how we rolled, dig?

We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting! Our call waiting was if mom had the phone your sorry butt WAITED !! If you were on the phone and somebody else called they got a busy signal, that's it! And we didn't have fancy Caller ID either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your mom, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, a collections agent, you just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister! And cell phones ?? Crap that was just a fantasy on StarTrek !!

We didn't have any fancy Sony Playstation video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the PinBall Machine ! With lights and sounds and cost 25 cents to play . You actually had to use your imagination!! And there were nomultiple levels or screens, it was just one screen forever! And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died!
Just like LIFE!

You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off your butt and walk over to the TV to change the channel! IMAGINE THAT !! NO REMOTE ! There was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning. Do you hear what I'm saying!?! We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little brats!
And God Forbid The President was on ! He would take up all 4 Channels !

And we didn't have microwaves, if we wanted to heat something up we had to use the stove ... imagine that! That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too easy. You're spoiled. You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in 1970 or before!

Regards,The over 30 Crowd

Dont Like My Opinion ? I Dont Care , Its My SandBox I'll Pee In It If I Want To !!

What is " OLD " ?

2009-01-30T12:24:00.000-08:00

I had someone recently say i was an OLD man ! Do You Believe that , just cause im a Grandpa now im old sheessssssssssh ! So I decided to attack the Old concept . This is a little of what i've found . PLEASE feel free to add to the list !

( 1 ) 'OLD' IS WHEN...
Your sweetie says, "Let's go upstairs and make love" and you answer, " Pick one Baby ; There is NO WAY I can't do both" !

( 2 ) 'OLD' IS WHEN...
Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.

( 3 ) 'OLD' IS WHEN...
A sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage door and starts the coffeepot !

( 4 ) 'OLD' IS WHEN..
Going braless pulls all the wrinkles out of your face and adds 12" to your waist line!

( 5 ) 'OLD' IS WHEN...
You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along. ( See # 1 )

( 6 ) 'OLD' IS WHEN...
The only Speed in your life gets You cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police !

( 7 ) 'OLD' IS WHEN. ..
"Getting a little action" means you don't need to take any fiber today!

( 8 ) 'OLD' IS WHEN...
"Getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking lot!

( 9 ) 'OLD' IS WHEN...
An "all nighter" means not getting up to use the bathroom!

( 10 ) 'OLD IS WHEN" ...
" Daily Execise" means watching hot girls doing aerobics on tv ! ( see # 3 )

( 11 ) 'OLD IS WHEN'...

Stuff hurts this morning that didnt hurt yesterday !

( 12 ) 'OLD IS WHEN'...

Your Glad its hurtin , cause ya know its sill WORKING !

AND

( 13 ) 'OLD' IS WHEN..
You really dont think the above Jokes are Funny !

Woman Speak For Dummies !!

2009-01-21T06:00:00.000-08:00

The Following Is A small excerpt from the acclaimed Woman speak for Dummies Available at your Finer Book Stores In the US . I hope This helps all Men To be Better Prepared To Face The Daily Woman Challenge !

(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in Fine. ( See # 1 )

(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' ... that will bring on a 'whatever').

(8) Whatever: Is a women's way of saying ( Go Ahead Stupid ! See #4 )

(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' ( For the woman's response refer to # 3. )

(10) The Look: This is NON VERBAL Communication that has the effect of implying the words " Fine" ( see Rule # 1) " Go Ahead " ( See Rule # 4 ) and "WhatEver" ( See Rule # 8 ) At The Same Moment !

I hope that this little Education helps all men to avoid the Look that usually accompanies all the above rules .

2008-12-05T07:39:00.000-08:00

I was emailed this by a friend recently , well an exfriend now ! LOL

I was shopping at the local supermarket where I selected:

A gallon of 2% milk
A carton of eggs
A quart of orange juice
A head of lettuce
A loaf of bread
A 1 lb. package of bacon

As I was unloading my items onto the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind me watched as I placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the drunk calmly stated, 'You must be single.''

I was a bit startled by this proclamation, but I was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since I was indeed single. I looked at the six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about my selections that could have tipped off the drunk as to my marital status.

Curiosity getting the better of me, I said: ''Well, you know what, you're absolutely right. But how on earth did you know that?''

The drunk replied,

''Cause you're ugly.''

I would like to extend a welcome to any who are stopping by from www.themilkmanswife.blogspot.com

If you have not been there yet by all means stop by and say hello to her , she needs all the help she can get BELIEVE ME !! lol

Gonna Be A BEAR

2008-11-03T11:37:00.000-08:00

My Wife Said I Had To Post This , So I Am Doing So UNDER PROTEST

In this Life , I am a WOMAN .

In My NEXT Life , I wanna come back as a Bear

REASONS :

( 1 ) When Your A BEAR you get to Sleep For 6 Months ! Its GOOD !

( 2 ) Before You Sleep You Get To Eat Yourself Stupid ! Its GOOD !

( 3 ) When You Have Cubs, You Have Them ( They Are The Size Of A Walnut ) WHILE you SLEEP , and When You Wake Up They Are Partially Grown , Cute and Cuddly. Its GOOD !

( 4 ) Everyone KNOWS You Mean Business , You Can SWAT ANYONE Who Messes With Your Cubs, And If The Cubs Get Out Of Line , You Can SWAT Them Too. Its GOOD !

( 5 ) Poppa Bear EXPECTS You To Wake Up Growling , Have Hairy Legs And Excess Body Fat !

ITS REAL GOOD !

YEP I'M COMMIN BACK AS A BEAR !!!!!

TAGGED HUH

2008-10-16T12:35:00.000-07:00

The Rotten MilkMaid Has Seen To It In Her Infinate (dubious) Wisdom To Tag Me !

So Before I Start PHBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBTTTTTTTTTTT to you !!

Ok

1. What were you doing 10 yrs ago?
I was Sitting Through a Lamaz Class watching the look on my Wifiepoos face when they showed her the videos about what was about to happen ! She Looked at Me and Looked Down and Said , I WILL KILL U !

2. 5 Things to do on my list today ?
( a ) Wake up
( b ) Scratch
( c ) Cuddle wifiepoo & Shortleggs
( d ) Open Coffeeshop
( e ) Harrass the sassy waitress who never seems to be at work on time cause she is always to busy making pictures at the zoo and telling everybody how wonderfull the milkman is !

3. Favorite Snack
Would have to say Little Pecan Pies

4. If I Were A Millionaire
I would spend vast amounts of Money trying to hide from all the COUSINS that would come crawling outa the woodwork wanting a hand out ! AND id be on a beach somewhere drinking a drink with a lil umbrella stickin outa the top and watchin the Punkins Jiggle by !

5. Places Ive Lived
Up North and Down South
( Souths Better , way to cold up there )
( of course the cold does tend to make Punkin Stems Harder )

6. Tag 5 people
( a ) Him
( b ) Her
( c ) Them
( d ) and the Other Guy

So There ya sassy MilkMaid !!!! LOLOLOL

BAILOUT ?? BULLBISCUITS!!

2008-10-03T10:48:00.000-07:00

Now , before I get started , let me FIRST say . I am not discussing Politics here ! I don't discuss Politics Or Religion on this blog.

What I am Talking about is Economics.

I am all for helping the economy get back on its feet , and if the bailout is the way to go then okay.

HOWEVER

I am not for people walking away from this with large sums of cash on hand.

Example

I own a business , and once in my life i did have to file Bankruptcy .

When THAT happened , I lost EVERYTHING

I walked away with the clothes on my back basically.

Now , any company that files Bankruptcy will basically deal with the same outcome , as John Q Public , we don't get bailouts .

SO , If we are going to pay to have this bailout , why are the BIG BOYS who caused this mess walking away with large sums of cash.

Basically what has happened here is WALL STREET COMPANY'S are BANKRUPT.

The Pecker woods who are behind this mess SHOULD lose everything they have ! JUST LIKE JOHN Q PUBLIC would.

I know this is a basic look at the situation , and that there are dissenting ideas. However that's the point of a blog.

Make me feel better , lets see some of the WALL STREET BIG BOYS losing everything they have to help finance this and let me see some of THEM saying " You want fries with that " and stop giving large sums of money to the SAME people who created this mess!!

THAT would make me feel better about digging deeper in MY pockets

You may not like my opinion, But I don't care ! Its my sandbox and I'll pee in it if I want

Letter From Grandma

2008-08-16T05:13:00.000-07:00

This little gem I found on the internet i thought was worth sharing as well. Problem is i can see this happening . As a matter of fact , i think i know this lady ! LOL

Grandma is eighty-eight years old and still drives her own car. From a letter on the internet she writes:

Dear Granddaughter,
The other day I went up to our local Christian book store and saw a Honk if you love Jesus bumper sticker. I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting.So, I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper. Boy, am I glad I did, what an uplifting experience that followed. I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord and how good he is, and I didn't notice that the light had changed. It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn't honked, I'd never have noticed.I found that lots of people love Jesus!

While I was sitting there, the guy behind started honking like crazy, and then he leaned out of his window and screamed, ' For the love of God! ' ' Go! Go! Go! Jesus Christ, GO!' What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus! Everyone started honking!I just leaned out my window and started waving and smiling at all those loving people. I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love! There must have been a man from Florida back there because I heard him yelling something about a sunny beach.I saw another guy waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air. I asked my young teenage grandson in the back seat what that meant. He said it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something. Well, I have never met anyone from Hawaii, so I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign right back. My grandson burst out laughing. Why even he was enjoying this religious experience!!

A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and started walking towards me. I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but this is when I noticed the light. So, I waved at all my brothers and sisters grinning, and drove on through the intersection.I noticed that I was the only car that got through the intersection before the light changed again and felt kind of sad that I had to leave them after all the love we had shared. So I slowed the car down, leaned out the window and gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away.

Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks!!

Will write again soon,
Love, Grandma

New WebSite I Found

2008-07-27T13:37:00.000-07:00

Enjoy That ?? I loved it !

Wanna See More Like It Go To ..........

http://www.icanhascheezburger.com/

Enjoy

You may not like my opinion, But I dont care ! Its my sandbox and I'll pee in it if I want to !

More Advice From My Favorite Doctor !

2008-02-08T16:05:00.000-08:00

I had a follow up visit with my new doctor and asked him some more questions.

I have come to the conclusion that the man is no less than genius. Its impossible that the advice he has given me could be any less than genius, its being proven true by a large portion of americans everyday.

Well make up your own mind !

My Question:

Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables ?

His Answer:

We have to grasp Logistics here , for example. What does a cow eat ? Hay and Corn ! What are these ? Vegetables !! Therefore Steak is nothing more than an effecient way of delivering vegetables to your system ! Beef is also a great source of green leafy vegetables ( grass) !
Need Grain ? Eat Chicken !

My Question:

Should I reduce Alcohol Consumption ?

His Answer:

Absolutely not ! Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled Wine. Wich means that they have taken the water out of the fruit so you get even more of the goodness of the fruit in that manner!
And Beer is made from Grain !
Therefore , eating a chicken sandwich and drinking a Beer will give you 100% of daily required Grains !

HE IS A GENIUS I TELL YOU !!

Man I love this Doctor !

You may not like my opinion, But I dont care ! Its my sandbox and I'll pee in it if I want to !

My New Doctor ( I Love This Guy )

2008-01-22T16:32:00.000-08:00

I am so excited , I have finally found a doctor I can relate to. He thinks like I do and I believe I will be able to follow his Medical Advice to the letter.

I know !! I Know !! There has to be a catch right?

Well you read through the advice he gave me and tell me how this is a bad thing !!

My Question :
I've heard that Cardiovascular Exercise can prolong life , Is that true ?

His Answer :

Your Heart is only good for so many beats , and that's it ! Don't waste them on exercise . Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer, that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving faster !

Want to live longer ??? Take A Nap !!

My Question :
Are There ANY advantages in participating in a regular exercise program ?

His Answer :

Cant think of a single one !! My philosophy is .... NO PAIN ? .... GOOD!!

My Question :
How Can I Calculate my Body Fat ?

His Answer :

Well, If you have (1 ) Body and you have fat, That's a ratio of ( 1 ) to ( 1 )
If you have two body's and you have fat its ( 2 ) to ( 1 )

Simple See !!!

I LOVE THIS GUY !!!!

You may not like my opinion , but I don't care !! Its my sandbox and I'll Pee in it if I want to !

The Meanest Mom On The Planet ( I love it )

2008-01-10T10:00:00.000-08:00

This Material Was Found On AP News Filed Under Weird News

The Following Was Something I Read Yesterday and Would Like To Honor This Woman For Her Common Sense and Willingness To Stand On Her Principles.

The Material Read As Follows:

"" After Finding Alcohol In Her Sons Car , Jane Hambleton , Decided To Sell The Car And Share Her 19 Yr Olds Misdeed With Everyone By Placing An Ad In The Newspaper. ""

"" OLDS 1999 Intrigue""

Totally Uncool Parents Who Obviously Don't Love Their Teenage Son , Selling His Car.
Only Driven 3 Weeks Before Snooping Mom Who Needs To Get A Life Found Booze Under Front Seat. $ 3,700.00 / OBO
Call Meanest Mom On The Planet """

Apparently The Son Claimed That The Booze Was Left By A Passenger, And Mom Believes Him But Has Decided Mercy Was Not Called For Since Her Rules Had Been NO BOOZE In The Car, And KEEP IT LOCKED.

Mrs Hambleton !!

We At The CoffeeShop Proudly

SALUTE YOU !!

You May Not Like My Opinion, But I Dont Care !! Its My SandBox And I'll Pee In It If I Want To !!

COUNTRY FOLKS KNOW !!

2007-11-29T16:44:00.000-08:00

Only Country Folks Know Certain things in life.

Here are a few I have come up with that prove its better to be Country Folk.

( 1 ) Only Country Folks know the difference between a " Hissie fit " and a " Conniption fit " and that You don't HAVE them , You THROW them !!
( 2 ) Only Country Folk know how many Fish, Collard Greens, Turnip Greens , Peas , Beans , Corn Etc: it takes to make a "MESS" of them !
( 3 ) Only Country Folks can tell you , point out , or take you in the direction of " YONDER"
( 4 ) Only Country Folks know how long " Directly " is.
( 5 ) Only Country Folks know that " Gimme some Sugars" is not a request for sweetener !
( 6 ) Only Country Folks know that the best way to help a neighbor in need includes a " Full plate of Fried Chicken " and a " Bowl of Tater Salad " and if its a real crisis it includes "Nanner Puddin " !
( 7 ) Only Country Folks grow up knowing the difference between a " Right Near " and a " Right Far Piece " and that " Just down the road" can be up to 20 miles .
( 8 ) Only Country Folks Know that " Fixin " can be a NOUN, VERB, or ADVERB
( 9 ) Only Country Folks can make friends while standing in a long line , cause everybodys " Kinfolks "!
( 10 ) Only Country Folks know that " Grits " come from corn and that you " Eat Them "
( 11 ) Only Country Folks know the difference and ask for " Sweet Tea " and " Sweet Milk " !
( 12 ) Only Country Folks know that you never yell obscenities at the little old lady driving 30 miles an hour , You just say " Bless Her Little Heart " and move on !
( 13 ) Only Country Folks know how many people it takes to make up " Ya'LL " !

Got any recommendations for ones i've missed, Lets hear them in your comments

And Y'all have a nice day !!

You may not like my opinion, But I dont care !! Its my sandbox and I'll pee in it if I want to !

Mens Rules To Live By For The Ladies

2007-10-27T11:07:00.000-07:00

I cannot take credit for writing this material , but as a Man I find it to be very true. I hope that all the women out there get there own personal copy ! Feel free to copy this and give it to your wife !

Finally, The guys side of the story. We always hear the RULES from the female side. NOW we get the mans side of the story !!

Please note LADIES these are ALL numbered # 1 on PURPOSE !!

# 1 Men are NOT mind readers !
# 1 Learn to work the Toilet Seat FOR YOURSELF. If its up put it down .
( subsection )You don't hear us whining about YOU leaving it down !!
# 1 Sunday Sports is like the full moon and changing tides !! LEAVE IT ALONE !!
# 1 Crying is BLACKMAIL ! Don't do it.
# 1 Ask for what you WANT !! Follow me here !!
( subsection ) Subtle hints don't work
( subsection ) Strong hints don't work
( subsection ) Obvious hints don't work !
# 1 YES and NO are perfectly good answers to almost every question !!
# 1 Come to us with a problem ONLY IF YOU WANT TO SOLVE IT !! If you want sympathy that's what girlfriends are for !
# 1 Anything we said 6 months ago is NOT admissible in an argument !!
# 1 If you think you are FAT , You probably ARE ! Don't Ask !
# 1 If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes you sad or angry,
We meant the OTHER one!
# 1 You can either ASK us to do something , or TELL us HOW you want it done , NOT BOTH !
# 1 Whenever possible Please say what you want during Time Outs or Commercials.
# 1 IF IT ITCHES WE WILL SCRATCH IT !! Leave it alone !!
# 1 If we ask whats wrong and you say " Nothing " we will believe you , we know your lying but its less painful that way !
# 1 If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
# 1 When we go out , ANYTHING you wear IS FINE !! REALLY !!
# 1 Don't ask us what we are thinking about !! ( see rule #1 two places above )
# 1 YOU HAVE ENOUGH CLOTHES !
( subsection ) YOU HAVE TOO MANY SHOES !
# 1 I Am in shape ROUND IS a SHAPE !

You may not like my opinion, But I dont care ! Its my sandbox and i'll pee in it if I want to !

A MEAN DAD !! ( I love It )

2007-08-10T15:28:00.000-07:00

I cannot claim to be the person responsible for this poetry, but it is awesome. PLEASE take the time to read it through. ESPECIALLY if you are a parent or a teenager !!

( SON )

My son came home from school one day, With a smirk upon his face.
He decided he was smart enough , to put me in my place.
Guess what I learned in civics two, That's taught by Mr. Wright?
Its all about the laws today, THE CHILDREN'S BILL OF RIGHTS !

It says , I need not clean my room, And don't have to cut my hair!
No one can tell me what to think, Or speak or what to wear.
I have a freedom from religion, And regardless what YOU say.
I don't have to Bow my head, And I sure don't have to pray !

I can wear earrings if I want, And pierce my tongue and nose.
I can read and watch just what I like, Get Tattoos Head to toe !!
And if you spank me on my butt , I'll charge you with a crime.
And I'll back up my charge, with the marks on my behind.
Don't preach to me about your morals, Like your Momma did to you.
THAT'S nothing more than Mind control, and that's Illegal TOO !

Dad I have these children's Rights, You cant influence me.
Or i'll call children's service division, Better known as C.S.D.

( DAD )

Of course my first instinct was, to toss him out the door.
But the chance a lesson to teach, Made me think a little more.
I mulled it over carefully, I couldn't let this go.
I smile came across my face, He's Messing with a PRO !

Next day shopping we went, to the local goodwill store.
I told him " Pick out all you want" There's shirts and pants galore !
I called and checked with C.S.D. , Who said they didn't care.
If I bought you Goodwill shoes , Instead of Nike Airs!

I've canceled That appointment, To take your drivers test.
The C.S.D. Is " unconcerned ", So I'LL decide whats best.
Sorry no time to stop and eat, Or pick up stuff to munch.
And tomorrow you can start to learn, To make your OWN sack lunch .

Just save the raging appetite, and wait for dinner time.
Were having liver and onions, a favorite dish of MINE.
And no, a movie we wont rent, To watch on your VCR.
I sold your TV and your Tapes, To put tires on my car.

I also rented out your room, The couch is yours instead.
All the C.S.D. Requires of me, Is put a roof over your head.
Your clothes wont be trendy now, I'll choose what we eat.
That allowance you used to get, I'll save for something Neat.

I'm selling off your jet ski , Dirt bike and roller blades.

How do you like the " PARENTS BILL OF RIGHTS "
its in effect today !

Whats this hot shot, are you crying ? Why are you on your knees?
Are you asking God to help, INSTEAD of C.S.D.?

And about those marks left on your Butt , From Bad attitude and Lip.
If I'm going to go to jail , ILL MAKE IT WORTH MY TRIP !!

You may not like my opinion, But I dont care !! Its my sandbox and I'll pee in it if I want to !!

It Could Be YOU

2007-08-05T11:44:00.001-07:00

Just when I thought things couldn't get worse on our nations Highways, along comes the Gadget boys with another Toy that the average American cant live without.

I'm talking about the iPhone .

I have a cell phone and am an advocate of communication, However I would like to point out that the iPhone has taken that idea to a whole new level. I like to call my friends and receive calls from my friends as much as the next guy.

But all I want is a phone that can make and receive calls WITHOUT DROPPING THE CALL !!
You would think they could put a little research into the QUALITY of the CONNECTION !!
I don't need all the fancy stuff that goes along with the gadgets of today.

I don't need a camera !
I don't need to download tunes !
I don't need stock market reports !
I don't need to text message my friends !
I don't need a comprehensive phone book !
I don't need a list of every seafood place in America !

I need to make and receive a CALL !!!

The thing that really has me worried about this whole situation is that , up until this point all I had to be concerned about was someone coming at me at 65 miles an hour talking on the phone.

Things have gotten a whole lot more complicated . Now I have to be worried about someone, or someones teenager, coming at me at 65 miles an hour DOWNLOADING PORN !!

You may not like my opinion, But I don't care !! Its my sandbox and I'll pee in it if I want to !!

What A Tragedy !!

2007-07-04T07:06:00.000-07:00

Kansas Shoppers Step Over Dying Woman ??

Have you Read This Item Yet ?? Use The Link !!
Filed Under: Crime News, Nation

I find it so hard to believe that people can be so callous to others suffering. It is appalling that people have so little care for others that they see in difficult situations.

I DO Believe that part of the problem is due to the Violence we see so prevalent on Television and the Movies as well as the Video Games we see being sold in abundance in today's society.

We can try and kid ourselves all we want to, the fact remains , Violence viewed as entertainment is jading people to the suffering going on around them. The more we allow this type of thinking to rule our society , the more we will see this type of behavior from the world around us.

Are not the individuals who Ignored the woman in this instance , JUST AS GUILTY of her death , as the ones who committed the crime ?

Ignoring a crime, should be punishable !!
When we allow something like this to happen and we do nothing about it , are we not tacitly approving the actions of the criminal ??
The Individuals who ignored this poor woman , and you know who you are, should be Horse Whipped !!

You may not like my opinion, But I don't Care !! Its my sandbox and I will Pee in it if I want to !!

We Live In A " Throw Away " Society

2007-06-17T11:56:00.000-07:00

We live in a world today that is very much a "THROW AWAY" Society. People don't seem to have , or place, value in things like they used to. Oh they do place value in HAVING things , but it does not seem that they place value in the things they have.

For Example , The world of commerce would have us think that something is of no value now because the "NEWER VERSION " is now available. If you purchase a computer , within 6 months , it is obsolete. Does not matter whether it still works perfectly or not !

How many times have you purchased the " NEWER / BETTER " computer program only to find out it isn't half what the old one was , or doesn't seem to work right ? But Hey !!!! I got the NEW one !

A new car , why does it seem to be the idea that we HAVE to have the new Car, Just because the new line has come out ? The old one works just fine.....

And I have seen the Commercials that are focused at our children, If I were so inclined , I would be purchasing the " Newest / Better " sports shoes for my kids every other week !

But if you tell people That those things are not a priority in your life they think you are nuts ... as though "Having the Newest " Things are what its all about !

Now we come to the Reason for this post ... I was recently accosted by a Movie / Show Promotion that has taken " THROW AWAY " to the ultimate level .

The Movie / Show is
** THE STARTER WIFE **

And I am sure people are going to say , its a comedy, or it isn't real , or some mundane thing like that. But as far as I am concerned , it is EXACTLY part of what is wrong in society today. Why would I want to be entertained by this idea ? We have come to the point in our culture that now " MARRIAGE " is a throw away ?

Now I do not wish to belittle the efforts of the cast of that movie, nor am I saying people should avoid it. What I am saying is the very premise of that , is part of the underlying problem we see in the world today. Well over HALF of Marriages end in Divorce. This is a cold hard fact. And Yet we are allowing ourselves to be ........Wait ...... We are going to the Theaters and PAYING a lot of money to be entertained by these ideas.
If this is true then I really am concerned about the direction that we are headed as a society.

You may not like my opinion, But I don't Care !! Its my sandbox and I'll Pee in it if I want to !!

Enough Already !!

2007-06-12T15:46:00.000-07:00

I have been listening to the media going nuts over the Paris Hilton Saga long enough. Its not that I want to be listening to it, but its everywhere. You cant seem to get away from it.
Well Now its time for me to chime in. I want to express right away that -
I AM NOT IN FAVOR OF CHILD ABUSE.
However , I do believe that there is a MAJOR difference between Abuse and Discipline.
I was raised by strict parents who would not think twice about laying down the law with a switch, belt, paddle, If it were warranted. And believe me it was warranted on occasion.
Neither myself or my siblings were abused in any way form or fashion. BUT WE DID LEARN MANNERS AND RESPECT FOR OURSELVES AND OTHERS !!

I have to believe that the attitudes and actions of someone like the various little girls .... And I do mean LITTLE GIRLS that we see plastered all over our screens are a direct result of lack of discipline. We are told that we cannot discipline our children anymore and the Prisons are running over with people.
We are told that schools cannot discipline children anymore and we have schools out of control and Shootings on a regular basis anymore !!
WAKE UP PEOPLE !!! THERE IS A CONNECTION !!!
And now she is saying its the ADD .
OH HORSE BISCUIT'S !!
The world is full of people dealing with various problems everyday who are not on the news crying like spoiled brats because life is so hard !!

Sorry Paris!! The only thing wrong here is that you and some of your friends have never felt the business end of a belt!! Grow up and stop wasting our time with your petty whining !!
I would almost rather watch Reality shows that have to see this Garbage all the time, and you all know how I feel about Reality Shows !!

Don't Like My Opinion ? I don't care !! Its my sandbox and I'll pee in it if i want to !!

" REALITY TELEVISON "

2007-05-28T15:29:00.001-07:00

I am going to rant for a few minutes about the serious lack of good television these days.
It seems that everything has gone to " REALITY TV " .
Where in the Sam hill did these people get the idea that this is reality ?
I have watched a few of these so called " Reality Shows " and after a few minutes I have the overriding desire to fire off a couple of rounds into the TV.
I have seen about 5 minutes of Big Brother, what a waste of time. HEY PEOPLE , Get your lazy butts out of the house and get a JOB !!

THAT'S REALITY !!

Now I will admit that there are a few shows that do require some talent, and my wife even disagrees with my summation of this post. She likes "Dancing with the stars "
And it would appear that they are working at becoming a better dancer than they were.

But why is it with the stars ? Why not invite Joe Redneck Citizen To try dancing, and see if it sells, it may not, but at least it would be REALITY !!

I guess I just come from a time when " REALITY TELEVISION " was the NEWS !

Well I guess that's enough of that for the moment. Am I the only person alive today who has had enough of the ( Big Brother , Survivor , Hells Kitchen , Bachelor , ........... ) it seems like the list doesn't end !

WHAT DO YOU THINK ?

My Vote For "MOM OF THE WEEK AWARD"

2007-05-20T10:49:00.000-07:00

I was going through the recent Sunday paper and I came across this little bit of news that I thought I would share with you all today.

Obviously their are people who will disagree with me in my summation of this event , If so please feel free to submit your comments .

I wanted to nominate this mom for the Coffee Shop Mom of the Week award, if nothing else but for her determination in making sure her son learned a lesson.

Many parents would have lashed out at the school system, argued against the discipline handed out or ranted and raved about the unfairness of said situation.

This news clipping makes me appreciate that there are still people who want the same values that I hold dear.

Kudos To You Mam

Keep up the fine work !!

We at the Coffee Shop Salute You Mam !!

1st Topic " MANNERS "

2007-05-16T05:01:00.000-07:00

What is it with kids today? Or even adults? I remember a time when common manners were expected from people, but it seems now that those instances are few and far between. I will admit that there are many people today , both young and older , that DO attempt to show courtesy, but as a whole the idea has gone by the wayside !

I remember when people would hold a door for an elderly person, or say yes mam or yes sir.
Simple courtesy's that don't seem to matter to most folks anymore.

Today we have , not only the young , but adults who ignore the basic tenants of common decency. Being overly loud at restaurant's, Using Cell phones at inappropriate times, Inappropriate language, just to name a few. This list could go on and on.

What Do You Think ?

I cant help but wonder what the world will be like in regards to manners in 10...15...20 yrs.

WELCOME

2007-05-15T16:35:00.000-07:00

I would like to welcome everyone to the Coffee Shop. This is a place where we can come together and have some good clean fun. Maybe discuss a few topics over a fresh pot of Coffee.

Please feel free to comment on anything with the Exception of Politics and Religion. We are probably not going to agree anyway.

Choose a topic and vent, discuss, or just make fun . Leave your thoughts in the current comment box and After checking the post for (PG RATNG ) they will then be accepted for posting as long as they meet the above criteria.

Please keep all comments free from profanity, otherwise they will not be posted.

I hope to see you all soon !

The Coffee Man